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Tuesday, August 14, 2012

It's the Little Things.....


Do any of you have a coworker that annoys the absolute piss out of you??

I do.

We will call her OMG.

She is constantly saying “OH MY GOD” about everything.  I seriously want to jab one of my good gel pens into her eye.

She is left handed, an apparently yesterday was some left handed holiday. 

So I say “Is there a right hander’s holiday?”

She says “No, because left handers are better.”

Me “Then why is the whole world made for right handers?”

OMG…. Long pause…..”Well it shouldn’t be.”

“It is” me….. Victorious.

She was on vacation last week, and it was good (for me).  This week we are back to the brutal reality of her presence.

A lot of people have annoying habits; I could possibly have some myself, although I doubt it.  And I may be able to look over her repeated exclamations of “OH MY GOD” but she is also very judgmental, which I cannot tolerate.

She is particularly bad about judging eating habits, and she’s not a super fit diet conscious person.  Someone’s son ate 10 chicken nuggets, OMG “OH my god, 10 nuggets?” 

I wanna go all punchy on her!

There was bowl of gumballs on the table in the kitchen “Oh my god, gumballs?”  I am the last person that would want a gumball... but for fuck's sake, it's not OH MY GOD worthy!

Also, if someone gets something new and cool, she makes sure to say how she wouldn’t want whatever it is.

A few years ago when I got my first iPhone, she said “I wouldn’t want a phone that does all that; I just use my phone to make calls.”
When a coworker got a nice new car “I wouldn’t want a car with all that fancy stuff, too much to go wrong.”  She said.

Then a couple of months ago, she got an iPhone 4.  As she sat at lunch one day bragging about it, I said “I thought you only needed a cell phone to make calls on, you didn’t want a phone that would do all of that.”  She had no response.
Another day a friend at work and I were joking about Siri and the things we ask her.  OMG doesn’t have a 4s, so she doesn’t have Siri.  She says “I don’t need some woman telling me what to do” and I said “Just like you didn’t need an iPhone, right?”

She also describes, in excessive detail, all of her maladies.  The last thing I want to know is what color your snot is.  I truly do not care.  Just because I'm a nurse doesn't automatically make me interested.  I've seen people a lot sicker than you that didn't die. So suck it up and shut the hell up!

Don’t make me be mean… I don’t like myself when I act like that……

While I'm at it, there is another coworker that annoys me.......... The Baby Talker........ seriously, I am not joking.
There is grown ass woman here that insists on talking baby talk.  I do not get it AT ALL..... why would a person do that?  I don't even talk baby talk to actual babies.  However, I will talk baby talk to pets, as I don't ever expect them to speak.  Babies, should, one day speak and who wants them to talk like someone who's suffered a traumatic brain injury?

I know I'm not always work appropriate.  I say things that I probably shouldn't, "for fuck's sake" being my go-to phrase.  But baby talk?!?!  That is beyond inappropriate.  It's almost like nails down a blackboard.

I don't know......... Maybe it's just me??????


Anonymous said...

I so hate baby talk!!!! I'm with you TrippyBeth.
I have a coworker that would make an awesome drinking game if one wanted to be aniliated. The word if the week is "Texas" - she's going there and will be out of the office for a few days - yay me! She said "Texas" 14 times today that I personally heard. Guess that could cause liver damage if we made her a drinking game - that and drinking on the job is frowned upon.

TrippyBeth said...

If we put the Texas woman and the OH MY GOD woman together to play the drinking game, I foresee puking at the very least, but more likely acute alcohol poisoning! And I'm a professional drinker!!!

Thanks for reading!!!!

Vigilarius said...

I'm fortunate in that I get along with everyone I work with at my current job; well, at least I think I get along with everyone. If they're talking about me behind my back I have yet to discover!

In the past, though, I've worked with some individuals whom I absolutely despised. One fellow had the worst possible body odor; thought in the beginning it might have been a medical problem, but it turned out he was just a nasty slob. :(

TrippyBeth said...

I once worked with a rather large woman, who at one point had a surgery to remove her pendulous abdomen.
Remember, I am the only nurse in my office.
She walked into my office one morning, I mistakenly asked how she was doing after the surgery.
She dropped her pants right there in my office!!!
And I, being ever appropriate, said "WHAT THE FUCK J?"
SHe was unphased, went on talking and explaining like nothing was wrong.
Just because I'm a nurse doesn't mean I automatically care about anything that you perceive to be wrong with you........... geez
And body odor, outside of a bizarre medical condition, is UNEXCUSABLE!