I participated in a wedding Friday evening… the only people
present were; the couple, my friend Boom who was the minister and myself.According to the couple, NO ONE knew they
were getting married.Interesting.I wondered whose parents were not okay with
And, they totally poo-pooed getting wedding presents.The ONLY reason I’d marry again would be for
wedding presents… I REALLY need some new towels.
I acted as both the photographer and the witness at the
wedding, and the minister-in-training.
After the wedding, I went home, went to bed and stayed there
I told everyone that it was my allergies… but it wasn’t.
Sometimes the black fog swallows me whole, dragging me into
a pit so deep that I wonder if this will be the time that I’m not able to pull
That sounds really dramatic, doesn’t it?But I can really think of no other words to
describe it… and I own a super thesaurus.
I think, that when I focus on trying really hard to do
things right, I end up fucking it up.
This is apparently what I’ve done.
I’m sad about it, my heart hurts…
My adorable introvert is done with me.
What it interesting about that, is that I didn’t do anything
wrong.I tried really hard to give him
the space that he needed, but I also feel like I let him know that I really
care about him, I disabled my dating profiles, I turned down invitations to go
out, I told everyone that I was “seeing someone”, I didn’t run when the
scheduling thing with us was hard (and if you know me, it is my nature to run
when a relationship hits a speed bump, but I didn’t)…
Yet… I haven’t heard a word for 4 days.
I tried to explain what he misunderstood… maybe I over-explained
it “she doth protest too much”.He’s a
wicked smart guy, I thought he’d realize that it wasn’t what he thought… I guess
I’m wrong, again.
Maybe dating just isn’t for me… I need a long break from it
all I guess…