And, they totally poo-pooed getting wedding presents. The ONLY reason I’d marry again would be for wedding presents… I REALLY need some new towels.
I acted as both the photographer and the witness at the wedding, and the minister-in-training.
After the wedding, I went home, went to bed and stayed there for >36hrs.
I told everyone that it was my allergies… but it wasn’t.
Sometimes the black fog swallows me whole, dragging me into a pit so deep that I wonder if this will be the time that I’m not able to pull myself out.
That sounds really dramatic, doesn’t it? But I can really think of no other words to describe it… and I own a super thesaurus.
I pulled my ass out of bed on Sunday morning because we were going zip lining for my Dad’s birthday and I had to make the long trek back home. I took the camera and made a few stops on the way, which did make me feel a little better. Here’s an example of what I captured (http://reflectionsuponmyreality2.wordpress.com/2013/09/23/the-porny-house/).
I did have a friend, a reader of this blog, tell me that I’m too hard on myself “you have so much to offer – guy needs his head examined.”
I want to believe that sooooooo badly, that it’s not me, that I’m wanted, desirable, needed. Yet, the loneliness overshadows the possibility of those beliefs. I am the common denominator here… only me.
I know, I hear the tiny violins playing too…