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Thursday, January 31, 2013

Eager Head Banging

Excited VS over-eager VS weirdo

This is a line that I have no idea how to traverse.

If I like someone, I like them, that’s pretty simple.
But, at this point in my life, I don’t know the proper (acceptable) way to show it.

My mind is constantly running in excess of the speed limit, and the ideas sometimes come fast and furious and I need (ok, want) to share them.


I don’t want to overwhelm anyone.  And thanks to truly BATSHIT crazy women who may have come before me, a lot of guys are gun-shy.


Just because I have a lot of ideas or a lot of things to say to someone, doesn’t mean that I have fallen madly, insanely in love.  I just have a lot of things to say… and if I dig someone, I want to say things to them.  That’s just how I gyre (a round shape formed by a series of concentric circles… see you learned something today, you’re welcome).

I have now gathered enough experience to temper my excitement and try not to do anything to frighten the elusive normal, available man away.

Am I not being true to myself?

I think I’m still being me, just dialed down to a 6 instead of all the way up to 11.

If someone ever truly likes me and wants to be involved in a relationship with me, they’ll accept that about me and maybe it will even endear me to them.

“Communication without filters” is a phrase that was mentioned to me recently.  I like that.  My filter is mostly nonfunctioning anyway, although I seriously try to keep things a little in check.  Really, I do!
I guess “Just be Yourself” isn’t bad advice… I’ll just keep the volume at a moderate level until I know that the listener is, indeed, a head banger.

Scratch and Dent

Don’t worry baby everything’s about to get heavy.

Thursday… I can almost see the whites of Friday’s eyes!!

I realized this morning, that I bitch a lot on this blog.  I don’t really think that I’m a chronic complainer kinda person.  In real life, I like to let things sort of roll off my back, when I can.  This blog, is just a tiny fraction of my life though, everyone deserves to be able to bitch a few minutes a day, right?


I got an email from this guy (thanks to JG for pointing out the similarities)

I thought about including the screen capture, but I’ll let your imagination do the work.  It’s a photo of a middle-aged guy sitting in a lawn chair, unbuttoned shirt, protruding tummy, with a beer in hand.  The photo is captioned, simply “beer”.

Now, please, do not think that I expect men to jump straight from the pages of GQ into my arms, I don’t, I’m pragmatic if nothing else.  Honestly, I wouldn’t even want one of those guys.

I want personality! Quirk!  Not someone overly obsessed with a perfect line of facial hair or eyebrows more perfectly groomed than my own.

But, isn’t online dating about 75% presentation?

BAIT, people, that’s what it’s all about!

Granted, we can only work with the bait that we’ve been given.  This is my problem.  You can’t turn a sow’s ear into a silk purse.
However, I do not post photos of myself taken first thing in the morning, or photos taken from a weird angle that makes me look like Jabba The Hut.  I am trying to sell myself, for crap’s sake.

I mean if you have a perfect, pristine can of green beans, and a dented, smashed in can, side by side on the grocery shelf.  Both are the same price, which one are you taking home?
I am trying really hard not to be the dented can.

The longer this pleurisy hangs on, the more like a dented can I feel.  UG.

Now that I am writing 2 blogs, I am learning a few things about the different blogging platforms.
This one, Blogger, is pretty simple and straightforward.  I like it.  It was the right platform for me to start with.

However, Wordpress, even though it’s harder for me to maneuver right now, gets your blog more attention.
And, truly, that’s what blogging is all about, ATTENTION!  Wordpress even automatically uploads my postings to Facebook!!

So, if you haven’t already, check out my photo blog!

I had a little life victory yesterday; they are few and far between, so I have to share.
I always remembered, vaguely, this movie that I saw as a child.  It was an old black and white movie about someone being trapped in a magical apple tree.  I have, on and off, over the years tried to figure out what the movie was, without success.


I finally Googled the right combination of words, and I found it!

It’s the story of Death being held in the tree, and while he’s there, NO ONE dies.
So, once I discover the title, I go to Netflix… No dice.
Then, to Amazon.  THEY HAVE IT!  And guess what is on its way to me???
OH YEA, I see a movie night in the future!!

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

No Power for Zombies.

If you think that a kiss was all in the lips; come on you got it all wrong man…

Woke in the middle of the night to a raging thunderstorm, had to put my window down.

Ahhhhh spring…


It’s January!!

I have to say, I love Earth, and I try to do what I can to contribute to extending her life expectancy…


I’m totally a fan of global warming.  At least at this point, I mean until if feels like we are living on the surface of the sun.  Then I will berate myself for every Styrofoam cup of McDonald’s sweet tea I consumed in my hedonistic life.

Anyway… thanks to global warming, cold fronts, warm fronts, barometric pressure and a PMSing Mother Nature, the storm early this morning knocked out my electricity.

Let me make this very clear… there is no way in holy hell I could live without electricity.  If the Zombie Apocalypse comes and the power grid is knocked out, I’m outta here.

I will not offer up my brains to the zombies, I am not nearly that generous, but I can see myself taking myself out in a manner than makes my brains inedible.  I'm thinking large caliber weaponry.

Speaking of the Zombie Apocalypse… I totally offended someone recently on Facebook by mentioning the ZA.
An ex bf of mine had posted something about the Fiscal Cliff BS, and this person (his fiancé) posted that she just wished that Jesus would come down and take her and her family to heaven.
That’s crazy, right??
Then someone else posted that they weren’t ready for the apocalypse yet.
So, I posted “Unless it’s a Zombie Apocalypse, I’m totally down with that”>
I was being silly, I mean it’s Facebook, there’s no state law saying you have to be serious, right?
So, I subsequently find out that this was offensive to her.

Sheesh, I don’t think your bible should be lodged in your ass, lady. But, hey, what do I know about it?

Today I am the photo that you see in the dictionary next to the word HIDEOUS.  Last night, I went to bed with wet hair. Oh yea, you should have seen it when I got up.  To quote my father, I “looked like I’d been dragged through a briar patch backwards.”  Feel free to use that little phrase if you like.
I present a briar patch, for those who are unfamiliar.

As a matter of fact, I kinda look like a zombie, before the complete transformation…
Kinda like this, only worse.

So, due to the fear and repulsion that I’m sure I will incite if I spend any time in public, I have declined all offers for activities after work.
Add to that the fact that the pleurisy still has me firmly in its grip.

Tonight I will peruse the interwebs in hopes of finding a totally kick-ass soup recipe for the SOUPer Bowl Saturday night at KS’s.  I love soup, but don’t make it too often.

So if you have any recipes, I’m open to suggestions!  I’m thinking some sort of mushroom soup, there weren’t any of those last year.  We shall see…

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Insuring Ball Kicking...

There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain.

Fucking pleurisy.

It decided to flare its ugly little head again last night, just when I thought I had it beaten into some sort of submission.

How I wish I had the comeback ability of Rocky… I could just slowly crawl to the middle of the ring… jump up and pummel the holy hell out of pleurisy.

But, alas, I will just sit here and complain, sigh heavily and from time to time fight back some tears.

Then, today, we find out how much our insurance is increasing.

Where is Obamacare when I need it?

I really don’t know much about Obamacare, it just sounds good to me. 
Now, I get higher deductibles and less employer contributions.  All this, of course, isn’t a big deal if you don’t have any health issues.
But, I have a chronic autoimmune disease that requires frequent doctor visits and lab tests. Mo money, mo money, mo money…

I love it when people say “You work in healthcare; I bet you have good insurance.”

“You’d be surprised”

I hate insurance companies, I work with them everyday, and they are the ones that are ruining healthcare.  They totally control it.  If you support healthcare reform, insurance reform is where it needs to start, but it never will because too many politicians are in the pockets of the insurance companies.

It’s way cheaper for the insurance company if I just die.

Anyway, unless someone has an idea how I can better afford quality healthcare, I’ll move on.

I get a message on the dating site last night that reads like this:
“Random question, but have you ever kicked someone in the balls?”

I have to say that was a little unexpected.

Here is an excerpt from his dating profile, notice #6:

Okay, I totally get that everyone has their “thing”, I have mine, you have yours and as long as everyone is on board it can be a beautiful thing.
And really, I’m not judging his “thing”; I suppose I’m intrigued by it.

I replied to his query like this “Once in the fourth grade, a guy that was picking on me”.  His name was Harvey and he was really mean to me, I didn’t intend to kick him in the balls, that was just what happened.  I felt bad about it, but he didn’t bother me anymore after that.

How does one acquire such a “thing”??
Did some little girl with freckles and pig tails kick him in the balls in elementary school?  Has he been obsessed since, asking women to deliver a swift blow to his gonads? 

But, kicking someone in the balls for their uuummmm gratification… I’m not sure how I feel about that.

I couldn’t see myself just meeting someone, kicking him in the balls, then going on about my day.  I’m not a prude or anything, that would just feel too bizarre for me.
If I was involved with someone who, at some point in our relationship, asked me to do that, I’d consider it, I suppose.  We are, at that point, back to the “everyone on board” thing.

I am morbidly fascinated with the little quirks and fetishes that people have.  This one really piqued my curiosity.  But… do I ask more questions? I don’t want to somehow make him think that I have a level of interest that I don’t have.  I am not about leading someone on…

I need to ponder this a little bit, and think of a way to convey my curiosity without seeming to be “sexually” interested.

So last night, I was Florence Nightingale! I trekked up to Oakley and delivered some Gatorade to an ailing friend. 
Cincinnati through my rainy windshield.

I71N tunnel.

We sat there and watched episodes of “Better Off Ted”, great show that I’ve never heard of.
“I can’t believe you didn’t watch this” D said.

“I cannot commit to series television” I just can’t, its how I roll.  But, Netflix could open up a whole new world of entertainment for me.  I have Netflix, I just never watch it.

Ok, back to work… dammit.

Monday, January 28, 2013

Off of the Crazy Train

I don’t wanna be your down time; I don’t wanna be your stupid game.

Ok, back to my normal posting, after that little detour through Crazytown.

I actually had a rather nice weekend, even though the pleurisy is refusing to abate as quickly as I’d like.

I enjoyed a nice lunch with my parents on Saturday, it was their wedding anniversary, they’ve been married nearly 100 years.  I asked if they thought they’d make it this long and my Mom said “Oh lord no, and no one else did either”.

After lunch we went to the AT&T store and my mother is now the proud owner of an iPhone, I welcomed her heartily into the 21st century.

Then we headed over the antique mall, where I picked up this little gem.

I have a small collection of cocktail shakers, but this isn’t exactly a shaker, it has a pumping apparatus on top of it… I really don’t know exactly what that was used for.  But it’s pretty cool and I was happy to add it to my collection.

The following photos are from my trip to Perfect North Slopes where we took in some tubing.
The trip was a surprise, so I wasn’t exactly prepared for the frigid coldness… but I still had an absolutely wonderful time! Great company made the deep freeze tolerable!

It was C R A Z Y crowded there, but it was still a lovely night.

Later, I got my ass handed to me playing darts.  Sadly, I’m MUCH better at darts than I am at pool.  That just tells you how bad I SUCK at pool!

Sigh, I’m answering phones at the office, and that’s another thing that I’m not exceptionally good at.  But everyone here seems to have contracted some sort of pestilence and I’m thankful that they stayed home.  Even though I’m stuck on the phones.  But I’m a team player! GO ME!

Rippin TrippyBeth

 Monday already peeps, weekends go by so quickly!

Saturday morning I awoke to find a couple of comments on the blog.  I’m always happy to receive comments, but these… well they didn’t make me so happy.

Here’s the first one:

This guy ripped me UP!
He says that we’ve spoken before, yet I have no idea who he is.  I, obviously, didn’t make a good impression.  But, if so, why is he reading my blog?  And reading OLD posts at that?
I suppose it was to exercise some of his anger/frustrations.  I do, however, really wish that I knew who he was.  But, he was anonymous, which makes him feel free to say whatever he wants.  I know that by having this blog and putting myself out there, that I'm opening myself up for this.  I accept that.  At least I know that people are reading, and according to C, I'm impacting them.

Honestly, I’m not really that offended by it.  And it didn’t make me mad at all.  This was probably not the reaction he was hoping for.

At this point in my life, I know that I’m not for everyone.  It’s ridiculously clear that not all men like me, or I wouldn’t be single for so long, and not all of the general public like me either.  I’m ok with that, I don't care for all of them either. Who is loved by EVERYONE anyway??  That’s a laughable expectation.

Comment number two:

I am, evidently, supposed to be flattered by the “Do you wanna fuck” messages I’ve received according to this guy, and since I’m not I think that I’m a princess…

I am out of touch with the “alternate reality” that he mentions in one of his comments.

What the fuck is an “alternate reality” anyway?
Is it where boys say “wanna fuck” and girls are flattered and say “yes please” and everyone lives happily ever after???
Who is populating this reality?? 

Probably not A LOT of people, or this guy would have found someone by now.  Unless he some sort of under-the-bridge dwelling troll.

Wait a minute, he did apologize for trolling… hhhmmmmm so what can be deduced by that?

Eh… basically all I deduce is that he is unlucky in romance, not unlike me, and he is venting, via comments on my blog.  I’m not deleting them and my feelings aren’t hurt. 

I hope he isn’t too disappointed.

Good luck to ya Cire Bron…

Friday, January 25, 2013

Shut out the Rut, Nut...

Hells bells, infidels all part of my crew…

It seems that the older I get, I start looking at the weekends with more and more reverence… almost like Christmas Eve to a 6 year old.

It’s not even like my weekends are all that awetabulous, they’re mostly just OK… but I’m not working.

It’s not even that I hate my job, it’s not torturous, it’s not like I’m on the chain gang or cleaning out porta potties.  I have a pretty low stress job (as long as no one fucks with me), I work with several people I like, I can get a few minutes here and there to entertain you… so really, it could be and has been worse.

So what’s my problem?

Maybe it’s a rut?

Here’s an article about being in a rut and how to climb out.

Maybe I’m not in a rut after all.

Bored is probably a better word for it.  I don’t mind my job, but it doesn’t excite me, I can’t say that I look forward to it.  I just do it.  Like I’m expected to.

I need excitement!!!  And probably a career change.

I’d love to go back to school; I really need to seriously look at the possibilities.

It looks like the snowpocalypse isn’t really coming to fruition either.  I was hoping to get some snowy cemetery photos soon, doesn’t look like that’s going to happen…

Maybe I’ll just go to bed for the weekend!!!

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Photo Blogging....


I am slammed today at work and I really don’t have anything of any interest to discuss today…

But I have created a blog for my photography!

So, give it a look when you have a moment, you’ve probably seen most of the photos if you’ve followed me for any time or if you’re my Facebook friend.

Hopefully, soon, weather permitting, I will have new photos to add!

I’d love it if you followed along!!

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Got A Brand New Bag

I'll be wearin' nothin but a tattoo and a smile.

Hey friends!

Have you missed me?

I've been puny, AGAIN. I ended up in the ER yesterday. I have pleurisy! Let me tell you, it hurts like a motherfucker! But, I must return to the office tomorrow. I like to use my time for fun, not lying sick in bed!

I had a photography class scheduled for tonight, but the instructor was kind enough to let me reschedule. I was going to drag my carcass in there if I HAD to, but I am thankful that I didn't have to.

The biggest and really ONLY news that I have to report to you is that I am now................

Hold on..........

Wait for it............



Yep, dig it people!

Getting married? I'm your girl!!

Dead? Give me a call!

I already have one person interested in having me perform a wedding!

I think that I could be really good at this, this could be my calling!

I can't wait until I receive my badge!!!

I have a Facebook friend, that I don't even know how I became friends with him, but here's his deal... He apparently has a teeny tiny pee-pee.

Not that I know, from actually seeing it in person, thank jeebus, but he's told me. It's like he's weirdly obsessed with talking about having a tiny pee-pee. Which in itself is totally bizarre.

But yesterday, it gets dialed up to an entirely new level.

He messages me on Facebook and asks if I know how to remove a post from his wall.

So, being the sweet and helpful girl that I am, I tell him. Without asking any questions, NO QUESTIONS.

Then he, voluntarily, tells me that someone had posted something very embarrassing to his wall.

I don't go look.

But he goes on to tell me that he can't remove the photo, that it's extremely embarrassing and he's freaking.

So, at this point, I feel oblidged to go look.

FUCK, after looking I am extremely disappointed in myself for not DE-friending him a long time ago.

The photo posted to his wall is of a teeny, almost non-existent pee-pee, with a ruler by it. I have no idea what the point of the ruler was, not for bragging rights I can assure you. It was posted by a woman who made a comment about if he was going to cheat, he shouldn't leave her photos etc... OUCH!

I report the photo to Facebook, and try to move on with my life.

Well, he has other ideas, and keeps asking me how the photo looks!! I tell him that I don't feel comfortable discussing it and I can't give him any advice, other than DENY, DENY, DENY!

People be crazy, yo...

Monday, January 21, 2013

Monday, Funday!! Ummm, yea, no....

Don't you know there ain't no Devil, it's just God when he's drunk.

Monday again??


This morning I caught myself as I was pumping hand soap on my toothbrush.

And no, I’m not even hung over.

Brain tumor? Stroke? Sleep walking?

I’m grateful that I noticed it before I actually put it in my mouth.  It’s not that I don’t deserve having my mouth washed out with soap; I’m just in no mood for it.

How was your weekend?

Mine wasn’t bad.
My Monday morning Breakfast of Champions!

Friday night I just piddled around the apartment, I was really tired for some reason.
I had been trying for days to think of a clever way to store/display my hats.
But, I did get a photo of what the cat did to one of my shades!  What the fuck, Lucy?

I finally bought some pink/white nylon cord, tacked it in the door frame above the closet in the dining room, let it drape down the side of the door and I hung hats on it via clothes pins.  I’m diggin it.
Surprise, surprise I forgot to take a photo of it!
But, trust me, it’s cute.

Saturday, I headed out to get some photos, before the weather turned ridiculously cold, like it was this morning.

Have I related to you my pure, unadulterated hatred for winter?


I fucking hate winter… (That being said, I do enjoy a good snowball fight from time to time).


I have this brilliant idea for a photo series; my goal for Saturday was to work on that.

As brilliant as the idea was, I couldn’t find the subjects that I was looking for.  I found a couple, so it will be an ongoing process.

I drove all over Covington/Bromley/Latonia; I was in places I never knew existed.
As a transplant, it’s all pretty new to me.  I really like Covington; I’m glad that I live here now.  It fits me, or I fit it.

So in my explorations, I wound up at the banks of the Licking (yea I said licking, laugh away) and the Ohio Rivers, visited a couple of churches, down in Mainstrasse, in Devou Park, at St. Elizabeth North and just meandering along some sidewalks.

I’m fairly satisfied with the photos, still need to play around with them.  The wind was vicious and kicked my ass!
Prisoner's Lake at Devou Park, formerly a quarry, actually dug by prisoners of Covington.

Goebel Park clocktower, Mainstrasse, Covington, KY.

On the bank of the Mighty Ohio river.
The Licking River.
I discovered this lovely little church for sale in Latonia.
I'd love to repurpose a church to live in someday!!

I’m planning to start a photo blog, so as not to bore my readership here, still trying to come up with a clever title for it…

Saturday night, I went to dinner with a friend at Abuelo’s mmmmmmm fajita’s and margaritas!!!
TrippyBeth, gussied up.

I planned on heading home after dinner, but got a text from JG inviting me up to a bar his girlfriend works at to check out an acoustic duo.

I was already out and gussied up, so I plugged the address into the navigation system (iPhone) and steered the Silver Armadillo toward Blue Ash.

The duo was called The Test Icicles (I hope I have that right) and yes I know, I know…

They were pretty good; the bar was pretty small and PACKED!  But it was good catching up with JG and finally meeting his girlfriend, who is an absolute doll!  Way to go JG!!!

I got home around 230a and slept in on Sunday.

Spent the rest of Sunday like a slug, only leaving the apartment to travel to the basement to do a couple loads of laundry.
I hadn’t done any laundry since I returned from vacation.  So, it was either do the wash or buy new underwear (which I’ve done before, hey there’s no shame in my game!).

That’s truly the only productive thing that I did!  Now, I’m back slaving away for the man, and not in a good way!!

Hopefully you’re all off for MLK Day!!
I've GOT TO see theses guys SOON!!

Friday, January 18, 2013

Apathy for the Devil...

I guess you have to have a problem if you want to invent a contraption.

It's apathetic Friday.

Hooking up…

I know that we are decades past the sexual revolution and who doesn’t love good sex? But… I don’t really think that, at this point in my life, I can be a hook up kinda girl.

Many times, I’ve seriously wanted to.  But when I think of the potential awkwardness at the conclusion of the tryst, it makes me nervous.

What if he got up and left immediately?  I’d feel slighted.

What if he hung around too long? I’d feel annoyed.

What if he left money on the dresser??? Just kidding…

It’s not even a moral issue for me.  I believe that sex is good and healthy, as long as everyone is an adult and being honest, it’s all good.  No judgment from me.

And, I know the difference between sex and making love.  I don’t think that confusion in that department would be a problem.  I can disconnect when I want to…

I get a ridiculous amount of offers to hook up, well ridiculous to me, I’m sure the really pretty girls get a lot more.
But, again, these guys could be implementing the shot gun method of hooking up and I’m just within their range.

It’s amusing to me that, because of my look, red hair, pale skin, tattoos, men assume that I’m wilder than I am… “I bet you’re a wild one!”  I’ve had my moments…

I’m not saying that I’ve never had casual sex, I mean come on, I’ve been single for a minute now, and I’m not a prude.  But it was usually with someone I had some sort of a relationship with, it wasn’t strictly meeting up for sex.

I’d love to have more sex, but with my current relationship status (no relationship) if I want more than solo sex, hooking up, booty calls, and friends with benefits is the only solution.

I’d also like someone to snuggle with… sigh…

Wow, this post has turned out to be quite the confessional, hasn’t it?

To be a single woman in 2013, it’s not easy.

I posted this photo of Angus on my Facebook; it seemed to creep some people out…

I have insomnia.  Some nights it’s worse than others.  I’ll lay there for a while, trying in vain to fall back asleep.  When I know I’m going to be unsuccessful, I’ll whip out the trusty iPhone (I know that addiction to electronics could be a problem for me). I check out Facebook, Instagram, emails etc… then I peruse Amazon, EBay and Etsy.  Sometimes, I buy stuff.  Nothing expensive, just little stuff.  And sometimes, I forget about it.


I received these little guys in the mail yesterday.  Cute, right?

Thursday, January 17, 2013

I Am Not Grain!

Backstabber just uttered these words to me "Thanks honey-bunches-of-oats".


Who says that anyway?

It's worse than "Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays".

Fortunately for her, I did not have a mechanical pencil in hand.

Swiss Cheese Boondock Cooking

She got a black magic bag of tricks, I need my mojo fix…

It is my objective in life to be an observer of the odd and interesting.
However, I don’t think that I’m too good at it.

Often I’m just plain oblivious… it’s true, even though I hate to admit it.

I once told someone that they better hope that I’m never a witness to their murder, because it’s pretty likely that I won’t remember jack shit. 

Without other evidence, their murderer will go free. 

Then, because of my guilty feelings for having a swiss cheese memory, I will have to go all Boondock Saints on the murderer. 

Then I’ll miss work and probably get fired, lose my health insurance and my apartment.  I’ll end up living under the bridge, sleeping in a cardboard box with my good sheets and wearing the cute hats that I don’t have to barter away for cans of beans.  My cat will probably leave me, because, honestly who wants to live under a bridge?

I REALLY have to start paying more attention!

Once in a while, I do notice something that strikes me as funny.  And with the invention of cell phone cameras, every now and then, I’m able to capture it.

I’m not some kind of perv, but doesn’t that Dodge goat head thingy remind you of the view from the stirrups? When I got behind him, I thought “WOW dude, that’s kind of suggestive” a second later I was like “oooohhhhh, that’s totally not what I thought it was!”
I wonder if he noticed me tailgating him, trying to get the pic?

So, last night I cooked!!
Martinis are a neccesary element in the food preparation scenario.

I know you’re shocked, but I CAN cook.  I’m actually quite good at it, when I want to.  I made a comfort food meal of pork chops in mushroom gravy, mashed potatoes (one of my favorite foods in the world) mac-n-cheese and roasted veggies.  It was delish!
The pork chops!

But I couldn’t cook without suffering a harrowing injury.

A gift from the oven door, the bastard.

I’ll probably live though…

I was called an “artist” last night, after someone was looking at my photography.
I was a little taken aback.  I don’t see myself as an artist.  I see myself as trying to capture some of the beauty that someone else has created.

But, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like the compliment!

I’ve been perusing web sites of other photographers, local ones as much as possible, one in particular Queen City Disco(very).

I have to admit, I’m kind of in love with Gordon Bombay.  Aside from his fantastic photography, he can also write! DOUBLE THREAT!

Do yourself a favor, my friends, check his work out.

I really want to try my hand at some architectural photography, I am an architecture nerd! So soon, my friends, I will subject you to pictures of buildings from weird angles, I know you can’t wait!

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Doorways to Drama...

Staying friends with your exes.

I’m debating whether or not this is a good idea.

I am still friends with 96% of my exes; there are always a few assholes that I wish would fall into a quicksand/fire ant colony…
But, aside from them, I genuinely like all the guys I’ve dated, or I wouldn’t have dated them in the first place.

I don’t have a habit of creating drama or burning bridges.  So maintaining relationships is easy.

We stay friends in the sense that we can talk to each other about relationships, do each other favors like moving furniture, giving rides to the airport, etc…

Oh, and I NEVER sleep with my exes, that’s just confusing and weird.  I have enough issues; I don’t need that kind of complication.

I have this one ex, M, he and I dated for a minute (appx one year).  I’ve mentioned him previously.  We have been broken up almost 2 years now.  We had a lot of fun together, but there was never any real passion.  So we broke it off, and remained close friends.  We were really like brother and sister.
He loved my family and they embraced him.  He and his boys loved going down to the farm.
So we continued to include them in family functions.  M loved family, but really didn’t have much family of his own.  Even though I bitch about mine, I think family is very important.
M has even hung out with my Dad without me around, so I’m clearly not the draw.

Ok, so, M has a girlfriend, or fiancé I should say.  They seem happy.  He’s discussed a few issues with me, and I’ve tried to be encouraging.  We don’t talk nearly as much as we used to, which is cool.
So, I go to Facebook yesterday to ask him a car question (he’s a mechanic) and he’s not there.  Not in my friends list and I can’t search and find him.

M’s sister-in-law have remained friendly, so I messaged her and asked if M had deleted his Facebook account.

“No” she replied.

Well I’ll be damned.  He deleted me AND blocked me. 

I’m offended and my feelings are a little hurt.  Had I been posting things on his wall or making dumb ass comments, I could understand.  But I haven’t.

I even commented to him once, after he asked me to go biking “Is T ok with that?”  and he said “She has to understand that I come with a Beth”.

I wouldn’t understand it, but the decisions he makes are HIS.

Well, M’s SIL is pissed about it, she doesn’t like the fiancé.  So she texted him and asked him.  He denied doing it.

I’m over this. 

Do not expect to be invited to any more family events, M.  Oh, and I did invite the fiancé to the last one too, so she could see that there isn’t any weirdness, she didn’t come.  I’m not sure I blame her, really. 
“I’m going to spend the holiday with my ex and her family” yea I get that is a little odd.  But in our defense, my family is awesome.

So, I shrug my shoulders, think that I need to find a new mechanic and go to bed.

This morning I awake to a rambling email from the fiancé.

Just fucking terrific.

It wasn’t an, “Hi, I’d love to get to know you” email.

It was an “I think you’re inappropriate, I didn’t block you on M’s Facebook, I don’t want to get to know you” etc, etc…

It was a long email and I really can’t sum it up here, but I have to say that I feel attacked.  I haven’t replied, I don’t even know if I will, I sorta feel the need to defend myself, she’s got a few things really wrong, but who am I to shatter her delusions?  I am NO THREAT to their relationship, but her attack makes me think that she feels I am.  I, honestly, don’t want her to feel like that.  I wouldn’t want anyone to feel like that.  M had a history of infidelity, so I’m sure that is always in the back of her mind, she even mentioned it in the email.

I may be bitchy sometimes, but I truly don’t want to be the instrument of ANYONE’s pain.  Unless, of course, it’s some jerkface that’s hurt someone I love, then it’s on like Donkey Kong.

The only thing the mean part of me wants to reply is “You know those sheets on his bed? They’re mine.”  But, in reality, I’d never do that. 

Ok, enough about that shit.

Last night I started putting together a photo collage.  Mausoleum doors and gates.  “Doorways of Death”, I’ve dubbed it.
I got them all framed last night, now to decide where and how I’m going to hang them.

And I bought myself some flowers last night.  I love fresh flowers and since I don’t have anyone to give them to me, I’ll give them to myself!!!