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Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Dreaming of Nudists...

It’s the last day of my week!!!!  Fingers crossed that it passes uneventfully!

Last night was night #2 of crazy fucking dreams. 

The assault on my slumber last evening was the story of my mom divorcing my dad.  They’ve been married like a hundred years.  And… they were living back in the house I grew up in.

Bizarre.

I think I liked things better when I didn’t remember my dreams.  This is stressing me out!

Today I’d like to discuss nudists.

A while back I went on a few dates with a fellow that was a nudist.  I knew it up front, but I thought “what the hell”.  Even though I have absolutely NO DESIRE to become a nudist myself.

He made it pretty clear, on about the second time we saw each other, that he wanted someone to be able to join him at the nudist camp shindigs.

I am so not that girl, which I also made clear.

He said that nudity was “the great equalizer”.

That could not be farther from the truth!  Nudity is the “great emphasizer of inequalities”!

Is there really such a thing as a “great equalizer”?

Uuuummmm NO, there isn’t.

We are all never going to be equal, and should we be?  We should have equal rights, abso-fucking-lutely.  But just equal as individuals?  That’s a complete impossibility.  What it would mean would be that the bar would be set impossibly low so that EVERYONE could reach it.  What good would that do humanity?  Would I be expected to throttle my obvious expansive intellect to match that of the dude who died after eating a bucket of roaches, obviously, to win a Darwin Award?  This guy really existed and honestly, that's really sad. (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/08/edward-archbold-roach-eating-contest_n_1949589.html).

Right… never gonna happen.

Some things can equalize a situation, like a Glock, or even a badminton racket, depending on the situation.

But a GREAT equalizer?

I declare that phrase be stricken from the English language, effective IMMEDIATELY.

I feel better now.

I will say, that if you are a nudist, go on with your bad self.  I could care less.  But don’t try to persuade me into joining the lifestyle by coining bullshit catch phrases.  Maybe try something like “Nudity, air out your naughty bits”  “Nudist Colony; Naked and Drunk”  

I’m obviously no marketing genius.  I mean, either you’re into it or you’re not.

I’m not opposed to nudity as a general rule, there are, most definitely, times that nudity is the only form of dress that is indicated.  Those can be some of my favorite times. 
But chillin’ with a bunch of naked folks with things sagging, flopping, NOT saggy and NOT flopping… just makes me feel uncomfortable.

Tomorrow I will endeavor to find a meal somewhere… I’m feeling sushi, but I doubt that will happen.  And maybe on Friday I will sleep all day long, that sounds soooooo awesome!!

I will be back on Monday, maybe before, but please don’t hold your breath… I cannot be responsible for deaths or brain damage…

Some Jack White and The Dead Weather today for your listening pleasure... super cool video...

3 comments:

Vigilarius said...

I share your opinion of nudists, as they're almost always the type of people no one would ever want to see naked in public. ;)

(Happy Thanksgiving, TB!)

TrippyBeth said...

Happy Thanksgiving to you Vigilarius!!!
And who wants to sit in a chair that some naked ass has rubbed all over? NOT I!

Bob Locke said...

word!