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Friday, November 16, 2012

Dating, Serial Killers and Orchestras

If you’ve never done any online dating, I’m sure that it’s hard to imagine the sorts of emails that a person can get.  They run the gamut… from very polite and cordial, to vulgar; to… what I can only describe as serial killer-ish.  The following note is an example:

Now… I’m not sure if his very generous offer was meant sexually or… if he meant with some fava beans and a nice Chianti…

This dude also drives a truck.  I don’t mean to profile due to professions, but everyone knows that truck driving is the preferred career for serial killers.  I mean he even put photos of his truck on his profile!  Should I add some images of operative reports??  Only the ones with rectal foreign bodies would be interesting… everyone wants to read about salt shakers in the ass (even if they won’t admit it!).

I’ll admit that he could be a normal guy that’s appearing all sorts of creepy, but normal guys usually don’t offer to eat me in the introductory email.

JG was lamenting yesterday that things in his life weren’t going as he would like.  I said “At least you’re wanted, and not to sauté in some olive oil.”

I get the impression that the majority of the guys on the dating site that really want me, just want to chain me up in their basement… and possibly make some nipple beanies from my skin.

Or, I could be overreacting, maybe I spend too much time on, maybe my imagination gets the better of me.  But, DAMMIT, if I didn’t get messages like the aforementioned one, I don’t think I’d be thinking like this!

Word to the wise, if you’re a man who is online dating, PLEASE don’t send creepy, weird messages to girls!  There could be some girls who are into it, I know this, but I’d speculate the majority of women will not be.  At least feel a girl out a little bit before you fly your freak flag (not literally).  I’m just sayin…

Tomorrow afternoon, my mother and I are going to see the Tran-Siberian Orchestra ( and out to lunch.

It’s kind of unusual for us to do things together, just the two of us; however, I’m looking forward to it.
It is up to me to choose where we go to lunch, I’m thinking either The York Street Café (

If we go to York Street I can get dirty hummus, I’m definitely leaning in that direction.

Ok… now I must do some real, big girl work, that I actually get paid for…

Have a great weekend my friends! See you back here on Monday!


Vigilarius said...

I bet you're the first person in the history of the English language to ever use the term "nipple beanies." Bravo! :)

TrippyBeth said...

thank you :-)
that's just how my mind works... a little disturbing, no?

Vigilarius said...

Yes, just a bit disturbing. ;)

Here's a song you should have as your anthem:

TrippyBeth said...

That is soooooooo awesome!! Beautifully twisted...
I would have to stop envisioning myself as the victim and become an active participant... I'm probably too lazy for that...