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Monday, October 15, 2012

I've Got a FEEVA!!!

So I asked myself, I said “Self, what am I missing in my life?”

Self replied “MORE COWBELL!”

I know, I’m a dork. 

Now my percussion collection includes tambourine, maracas, and now a cowbell! There was an adorable little set of bongos at the Guitar Center too… I think I need them.
Now, I’m working on the opening of “Honky Tonk Woman”.

I, however, am not musically inclined AT ALL.  I did a short stint as a flutist and took piano lessons briefly.

I can’t say that I was particularly good at either endeavor.  My mother tried very hard to develop that portion of my brain.  Much to her chagrin, my musical lobe developed a penchant for Ozzy, Judas Priest and AC/DC in my teens.  I’m quite sure that she believed I was sacrificing shrews in my bedroom on a pentagram drawn on a piece of construction paper.  ** I say shrews because in that particular home, there were shrews out in the yard, and they were mean little bastards, they would stand on their hind legs and fight the cats like they were in the World Wrestling Federation, only there was REAL blood.**

I never actively worshipped Satan.  But, had he offered me a sweet deal at the Crossroads… I probably would have considered it.  Actually, I KNOW I would have considered it…  I mean it’s only my immortal soul, and I wasn’t using it anyway…

I got waylaid by some adorable little Boy Scouts on Sunday.  They were quite good little salesmen.  I bought a ridiculously expensive bag of caramel popcorn, I do love caramel popcorn.
The Boy Scouts got totally screwed on the fundraising.
It is impossible to resist a box of Tag-a-Longs, they fucking sell themselves… am I right?  I can get caramel popcorn any ole time, but Tag-a-Longs come but once a year!  And the cuteness factor of little girls cannot be overlooked.  Even though little girls are notoriously evil.  I mean, let's be honest, in a horror flick, what sends shivers down your spine the most? A sweet looking little girl in pigtails that is evil to the core OR a dirty faced little malevolent boy??

The little girl wins, hands down.  Evil disguised as something innocent is definitely the most frightening.

I can say this with conviction, I was once a little girl, and still have a tiny little evil streak left in me.  I mostly keep it buried under loads of cynicism, self doubt and bourbon.
If my evil surfaces, it’s got to be something super serious for it to ascend through all of that.  Don’t make me resuscitate my evil, K?  Like many of my feelings, I prefer it stay buried.  And the world should too.

New glasses... Too nerdy?


Vigilarius said...

Here's my reaction to that photo of you wearing glasses:

(Sorry, I couldn't resist.) ;)

TrippyBeth said...

I love it!!!!