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Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Green Candy Misery...

Candymakers of the world, I have a question for you (I know you’re reading).

Why are there so many damn green Spree in a pack??  Are they cheaper to make?  Is it really the preference of the American public to have so many of the green sweet/sour candies??

I think not.

It really upsets me when I have to toss out half a pack because they’re all freaking GREEN.

And, while I’m at it, Starburst folks, how hard would it be to sell packages of all RED Starburst?  I’d buy your product then, I don’t buy them now because I only eat the red and it seems pointless.

Who’s with me on this?!?!

Ok, I have a confession to make…  on my Facebook, I have been hiding all of the people that are too happy.  Everyone that is ridiculously in love and blubbering about it to the entire Facebook world… they are really my only targets, aside from the crazy Jesus people and some of the nutty right-wingers.

What kind of person does this make me?

It’s not that I want my “friends” to be unhappy, it’s not that at all.  I’d honestly like everyone to be happy, except for a population of fucking jerkfaces that I want to suffer with burning assholes for the rest of their lives…

I suppose it’s jealousy, plain and simple.  I’ve never considered myself a jealous person really.  If my friends or family got new things, houses, cars, etc. I’d always be happy for them, genuinely so.  If my house wasn’t as big or my car as fancy, I knew it was because I didn’t have that much money.  That’s an understandable explanation.
But when you can’t find someone to share your life with, that’s not really a monetary issue, unless you lived on the street or something, which I don’t.

I suppose I am suffering from a lack of the “it factor”, the thing that it takes for someone to love me…  not sure where to pick that up… I haven’t seen it at the mall or the liquor store and definitely not at the Goodwill!

So… since I lack the “it factor”, I can’t really look at anyone who seems to have it.

I am not, however, a misery-loves-company kinda girl.  Not at all.  It’s not that I wish that they wouldn’t fall in love, get engaged, get married, etc.. it’s not that at all.  I just want a little piece for me, that’s all…

Ok, enough bellyaching…

I got an email from an out of state guy who was so flattering to me… “I hope you won’t be offended, but I really adore your tits! They’re so nice and round and wonderful! So, I’m going to go before I start writing poetry about them or some obsessive nonsense!”

I’ll say this, the likelihood that I’d go out with him is slim, especially since he lives several states away… but the email kinda made my morning.  Is that crazy or what???  I'd totally want to hear a poem about my breasts!

In the words of Rachel Green “I got nice boobs”.  And sometimes I’m a little flattered when someone notices them.

Is that wrong?  I could give a shit if it is…

For today’s video selections, I give you Taddy Porter and Corey Smith.

I love love love Taddy Porter!!

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