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Monday, September 10, 2012

Weird Man Science

The perfect man

Hhhhhmmmmm If I could go all “Weird Science” and create the perfect man (or what I think would be the perfect man) what qualities would he possess??

I suppose we should start with the physical, something to wrap all of his awesome personality up in.

The package…. And I don’t mean the package, get your mind outta the gutter!

I don’t really think that I have a “type”.  I’ve been attracted to all different types of men.  I’ve liked rugged, geeky, polished… you name it and I could potentially dig it.  The brain is the sexiest feature on a man.

But, since he must have a physical form I will endeavor to create it.

He will be taller than me, which unless he’s a dwarf, that wouldn’t be hard to accomplish.  I am 5’3” I don’t really know any men shorter than me, lucky for them.

Hair…. I like bald, I like a floppy mane of hair, I even like a nice accountant hair cut.  But for the sake of science, my guy will have a messy mane of blond curls.  (Please, if there are any potential suitors out there, don’t think that the hair thing is an absolute or a deal breaker!)

Facial hair… TrippyBeth likes some facial hair.  A moustache, a full beard, a goatee, a soul patch… I like it!  However, I do not like facial hair that requires an inordinate amount of attention.  Those ridiculous thin strips of hair around a jaw line or a beard with a fucked up design in it are too douchey for my taste.
But I think Mr.Perfect will have a soul patch.

Eyes… I love eyes.  It makes me crazy to see photos of men on the dating sites and they have on sunglasses!! It makes me feel like they are trying to hide something from me.  Their eyes don’t have to be a particular color, not jade green or sky blue, but they need to have some depth in them.  They are, after all, windows to the soul, right?
We will give him deep green eyes.

One of the other things I like about a man are his hands… they could be rough or soft, but I like to see the strength in a man’s hand, gives me a sense of security I suppose.
Our hero will have nice strong hands.

Funny, I need funny.  But not, make-a-stupid-joke-a-minute funny.  Great sense of humor, loves to laugh at obscure things, great at inside jokes.  Doesn’t have to make fart or poop jokes, and no mean jokes at other people’s expense.  Goofy I think is good, I’m a total goof, I’d like him to be one too, and appreciate my goofiness.

Clever… he needs to be quick on the draw, open mind, eager to learn.

Intelligent… he doesn’t have to have a masters degree, not a college degree even is necessary.  Smarts can encompass all different areas.  I’ve met some college educated men who were super smart, yet very obtuse.  They had a hard time talking about things that weren’t in their field or interest.  That’s not sexy.  I may not be an expert in quantum physics, but I’m interested in learning something about it.  My man may not be an expert in tattoos or the paranormal, but he’s interested in learning or listening at the very least.   Wanting and being open to learn and teach… that’s sexy…

Adventurous…my guy should be open to new experiences, new hobbies, travel, exploration, getting lost.  I’m not saying I want to get lost every weekend, but sometimes it sure is fun.  I like spur of the moment adventures and I surely don’t have enough of them… I need a guy that will encourage it and help make it happen!

Creativity… he need not be an artist, but I want him to be able to look at art, appreciate art.  And maybe, if he wrote or even played around taking photographs, which would be attractive to me…

Sensual… my guy must be comfortable with touch.  I like to touch my man.  I like being touched by my man.  I still don’t like being touched by strangers or acquaintances, in all other areas, I like to maintain my personal space.  I will like to brush a hand across his arm, over his back as I pass him by, hold his hand, and hold his face as I steal a kiss…  I want him touching me, putting his hand in my hair, patting my bottom, long and slow kisses, and lots of them.  But isn’t that what everyone wants??

Employment… well, he must be employed.  I can’t say that I really care what he does, as long as he is able to support himself and meet his responsibilities.  He could get dirty or have manicured finger nails, either is fine.  I only care about the man behind the job.  I could say that it would be nice to be with a man who enjoys what he does.  But, in this day and time, jobs are a precious commodity, not everyone has satisfaction in their work, that’s just how it is.  I don’t hate my job, but I would definitely like something more fun.  Four weeks of vacation and two weeks of sick are hard to find out there, so I stay.  I could understand if a man did too.

Dependability… I need a man that I can count on, that won’t flake out on me.  And I kinda need a man that will help keep me in order too.  I won’t flake on him, but I have trouble keeping it together sometimes.

Family… I understand that anyone I date could potentially have family, children, parents, etc… the relationship with the parents shouldn’t care an inordinate amount of drama… and the children shouldn’t be monsters.  I’ve seen/experienced both of those scenarios and it’s not good.  I don’t have a particularly close relationship with my mother, sometimes I am pretty sure that she doesn’t like me at all, but I try really hard to make sure it doesn’t effect the other areas of my life, especially other relationships.  However, I may moan about it sometimes.  But everyone has a right to moan a little bit to their SO.

OH… and… he must ADORE ME!!!!

I’m flexible about the physical, but everything else, I really want.
It’s not too much to ask for, right?  I don’t think that any of these things are ridiculous, I don’t think that I expect too much, do you???

Ok, I’m off to find some fresh graves… UG the things that a girl has to do….


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TrippyBeth said...

Thanks Layla!
I sincerely appreciate you reading and the comment!!!