Sometimes we affect people and we don’t even know it. You could be a positive influence or a negative influence, without even trying, or noticing.
I walk through my life thinking that I really have no impact on anything or anyone. I just live, the best way that I know how.
Yesterday I was really touched, and not in a pervy way.
I have a friend, via the interwebs, that wrote something on his blog about me, something very, very sweet. It brought tears to my eyes.
By just being, honest, fucked up, put-it-all-out-there me, I have been a positive influence in his life.
I had no idea.
Now I feel responsible, if he goes off the rail, is it going to be my fault? Unlikely, but there is some responsibility in being an influence.
Sigh, I’ll try to live up to expectations.
Can I tell you something that I hate?
I hate being wrong. I know that I’m not alone in this; I mean who wants to be wrong? Not TrippyBeth, that’s for-fucking-sure.
Sometimes, someone that loves you and is very close to you can point out some things to you that you may not want to see, or if you see them, you may not want to acknowledge them.
I’d like to be the Queen of Denial, BUT… SL won’t let me.
Basically, he says that it’s my own fault that I am not “in a relationship”. That certain behaviors are providing road blocks to my romantical success.
Maybe I need some intense therapy…
I think that I am really going to focus on making myself more open to it…
I know, I know, I said the other day that I was opening myself up to the universe.
Well, maybe I wasn’t doing that.
Today, I’m going to start, with a better attitude, some meditation, and truly opening myself up.
We will see how that works out.