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Friday, July 13, 2012

Tattooed Dating

I have been back out in the dating world for about 3 years now.  When I began this dating journey, I had 2 small tattoos.
Now I am up to 12 tattoos.  Tattoos on my wrists that are visible all of the time, tattoos on my foot, arms, shoulders and back that are visible depending on how I dress.

I am still the same girl I was, for the most part, when I only had 2 tattoos.  But in the online dating world, my tattoos give some men ideas about me that may not be accurate.

I can’t tell you how many emails start out like this “I love your tats!” I try not to read over those messages too quickly, or I could mistake “tats” for something else.  But sadly, I have gotten many emails that were more blatantly suggestive than complementing a body part.

One gentleman (I use this term in jest) sent me an email saying this “I want to fuck you”.  Usually when I get this sort of email, I delete it and move on with my life.  But before I hit the delete button, I decided to write back.  Usually, writing back to guys like this is a bad idea.  It makes them think that you are interested, but just acting coy.  But I had a question for this fellow that I just had to ask.

“Does this ever work?”

He promptly wrote back “Sometimes it does.”

I ended the correspondence at the point.  But I had to think that this guy was using the shot gun method for hooking up.  I wondered how many girls he had emailed with the “I want to fuck you” line?? All it would take is for one to say “Ok” and all of the “Nos” and deleted messages would be worth it.

I no longer felt special.

In my online profile, I have several photos that my tattoos are prominent in.  They are a big part of who I am.  If you want me, you must accept my tattoos.

I received an email from a man saying that he thought I was cute, that he thought we’d be a good match, but would I consider having my tattoos removed?
WTF????  I found that as offensive as him asking me if I’d have a nose job.  I wrote him back this line “I am not your girl.”

I get other messages like this “I love your tattoos; you look like a wild child.”  Of course this idea harkens to the stereotypes that still exist about people with tattoos.  All you have to do is Google “tattoos and risky behavior” and one would believe that people with tattoos are out there boozing, druggin and screwin everything in sight.
Some people with tattoos do participate in extreme behaviors, but so do non-tattooed people.  Most of the people I’ve known in my life that had problems with drugs or alcohol weren’t tattooed.

While I love my tattoos, I haven’t really dated many men that were tattooed.  It’s not a prerequisite for my men at all.  I am tattooed, but I don’t care if you are or not.  It’s a personal choice, which I would never try to influence.  Now, if you’ve decided that you want a tattoo, I will definitely help you find a good artist.
I get a lot of emails from guys, basically apologizing for not having any tattoos.  Which seems too needy for me, I just say that tattoos are not for everyone, I don’t judge based on your lack of ink, just as you shouldn’t judge me for the ink I possess.

I had one guy, which I formerly dated; say after reading my blog “I don’t see anything wrong with a man with no tattoos.”
I replied that I don’t see anything wrong with a man who has no tattoos either, ink or lack of ink doesn’t define a person.
I am much more than my tattoos.  This blog only represents a portion of who I am.

Well….. I must be off! I have mail!!!

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