Observations, Dreams and a Fucking Osprey

A few observations on this Tuesday afternoon…

#1 My handwriting is much neater with a felt tipped pen than with a ball point pen.

#2 If you listen to WGRR (http://www.wgrr.com/) you should seriously have your ear drums gouged out with a dull, rusty screwdriver that has been used to pry off a car tire, SERIOUSLY…

#3 If you go Christmas shopping on Thanksgiving Day, you are what is wrong with society… it’s all you… no, really it is.

#4 Coming in the office at 9a instead of 8a has the remarkable ability to put me in a better mood… methinks I need to permanently change my schedule.

#5 waiting for my editor friend to read my piece is driving me fucking insane… yea, I know it’s a short trip… I can’t pressure him; he does it out of kindness (or pity) in his wonderfully British way… so I continue to wait.  I’ve vowed not to look at it again until I get his edits.

#6 The annoying laugh of certain people threatens to send me on a murderous rampage.  Especially when the laugh is inspired by something that is NOT FUNNY.

I woke up this morning after an odd dream.  It’s unusual for me to remember my dreams, but this one was pretty vivid.

I dreamt I was riding around in a convertible with the sister of one of my best friends.  I know her, but we are not exactly friends ourselves.  Also in the convertible were other girls that I did not know.

They take me back to my building (which actually was my building) which was now surrounded by a brick wall and a large iron gate.

When we arrive, the fire department is there with their trucks and many firemen all suited up in their firemen suits.

I don’t see any fire, so I walk up to the most official-looking fireman to ask him what’s up.

He tells me that there is a giant osprey loose in the building.

Osprey.... the horror!

 Then I wake up with one these words LOUD in my mind “side kick grin”, which I promptly wrote down.

I am no dream interpreter.  But a fucking OSPREY?? Seriously??  I don’t even think I’ve ever seen an osprey in real life, possibly on TV or something, but I probably quickly squeezed my eyelids together tightly, to avoid the assault on my psyche.

I do have a bird phobia; I will knock down little children and step on old ladies to get away from someone with a macaw on their shoulder.  I will authorize the use of firearms in my living room to annihilate a stray sparrow.  I will duck my head and scream (at an insanely high pitch) if a flock of blackbirds seem to be flying toward (or possibly dive bombing) my car.  And I will straight kick an ostrich in the jejunum… all my pride goes right out the window when confronted by one of those soul-less instruments of Satan.  Seriously, look in their black eyes… you see it, right?  I know it’s just not me!

See?? No souls.

I’ve had a few friends attempt to interpret.  The first question is “how much did you drink before going to sleep?”

NOTHING, assholes.  Sober as a preacher!

Maybe it means confronting something I fear?  Something keeping me from HOME?  I don’t know… it’s making me tired now… I need a nap.

However, I do like the phrase “side kick grin” I think it will be the title of my next writing project.

One more hour + one more day this week!! Then maybe a tattoo on Saturday if Kevin can fit me in!!!