Judge Not, Lest.... OH I'm Judging!!

ELECTION DAY!!

Hope all my peeps went out to vote! I’ll be casting my ballot after work!

GO LIBERTARIAN PARTY!!

Again today, I don’t feel too interesting, so I’m just going to share a couple of messages with you from the dating site.

Message #1:

I have a feeling that if he had handwritten this note there would have been a place for me to circle my response.

Everyone on the dating site is technically an adult; it amazes me that most do not choose to communicate in an adult manner.  I notice in many profiles that they are entirely written in text language or some bizarre Ebonic phonetic language that I cannot decipher.

Some profiles are written in one LLOONNNGGG sentence.  Punctuation is important people!

Ooohhhh and the spelling mistakes!  I know that spelling errors happen, we all make them.  However, what about putting your best foot forward?  Who wants to look like a dumbass before you’ve even had a chance to meet anyone?  Not I!

Another thing I don’t like or understand are the profiles that say something like “I don’t like to talk about myself, so if you have any questions, just ask”.  Screw that, I’m not doing the work for you… it’s all about marketing, SELL YOURSELF.  I skip right over those profiles, along with the profiles of the dudes who message me and just say “HI”.  Response is directly proportionate to amount of energy invested, which in those cases is NONE.

And the offer to relocate??  That screams NEEDY…  He is probably sincere, but really needs some assistance with his profile.  I don’t see his current approach ever working.

Message #2:

There are a few things that I like about this message.

First, he’s offering MULTI orgasms… dude is an over achiever, who doesn’t like that?  He’s not like those wimpy guys only offering ONE orgasm, OH NO!  This man is a world rocker!

Second, his profile photo is a waterfall.  Does that have some subliminal meaning? 

Calming?

Is it supposed to lull a woman into submission?

OR… does he have a face that wouldn’t be conducive to multiple orgasms? 

OR… is he married? 

Actually, I’m sure that he’s a “professional” who doesn’t want his photo out there on the internet (which is what all the married guys say).  

It’s 2012, if there isn’t a photo of you out there on the interwebs somewhere, you’re a loser or Amish.

It boggles the mind to think about how much random sex I could have had if I took up every guy on their offers.  Hell, my numbers could be right up there with Magic Johnson’s! However, I do not have that kind of time and I’m not a slut.

I got a few messages about a month ago from a guy whose profile photo was of a semi truck, and he would tell me of the kinky things he wanted to do to me (I wish I had saved those!). 

Can you say SERIAL KILLER?? 

What chica is going to hook up with a dude in the cab of his truck?? Well, maybe if she’s suicidal… which I currently am not.

I could feel the creepy radiating from him right through my computer screen.  **shivers**

I suspect that you’re reading this thinking “What a judgmental bitch” and I couldn’t blame you.  After 3 years of online dating, I do judge.  History has taught me that it’s it is a good idea to judge or you could end up on some of the dating horrors that I’ve endured when I’ve tried to overlook things that were clearly red flags.

In my real life, I’m very accepting and non-judgmental. 

Live and let live, unless you’re stupid and it somehow fucks with my world…