Doorways to Drama...

Staying friends with your exes.

I’m debating whether or not this is a good idea.

I am still friends with 96% of my exes; there are always a few assholes that I wish would fall into a quicksand/fire ant colony…

But, aside from them, I genuinely like all the guys I’ve dated, or I wouldn’t have dated them in the first place.

I don’t have a habit of creating drama or burning bridges.  So maintaining relationships is easy.

We stay friends in the sense that we can talk to each other about relationships, do each other favors like moving furniture, giving rides to the airport, etc…

Oh, and I NEVER sleep with my exes, that’s just confusing and weird.  I have enough issues; I don’t need that kind of complication.

I have this one ex, M, he and I dated for a minute (appx one year).  I’ve mentioned him previously.  We have been broken up almost 2 years now.  We had a lot of fun together, but there was never any real passion.  So we broke it off, and remained close friends.  We were really like brother and sister.

He loved my family and they embraced him.  He and his boys loved going down to the farm.

So we continued to include them in family functions.  M loved family, but really didn’t have much family of his own.  Even though I bitch about mine, I think family is very important.

M has even hung out with my Dad without me around, so I’m clearly not the draw.

Ok, so, M has a girlfriend, or fiancé I should say.  They seem happy.  He’s discussed a few issues with me, and I’ve tried to be encouraging.  We don’t talk nearly as much as we used to, which is cool.

So, I go to Facebook yesterday to ask him a car question (he’s a mechanic) and he’s not there.  Not in my friends list and I can’t search and find him.

Weird.

M’s sister-in-law have remained friendly, so I messaged her and asked if M had deleted his Facebook account.

“No” she replied.

Well I’ll be damned.  He deleted me AND blocked me. 

I’m offended and my feelings are a little hurt.  Had I been posting things on his wall or making dumb ass comments, I could understand.  But I haven’t.

I even commented to him once, after he asked me to go biking “Is T ok with that?”  and he said “She has to understand that I come with a Beth”.

I wouldn’t understand it, but the decisions he makes are HIS.

Well, M’s SIL is pissed about it, she doesn’t like the fiancé.  So she texted him and asked him.  He denied doing it.

I’m over this. 

Do not expect to be invited to any more family events, M.  Oh, and I did invite the fiancé to the last one too, so she could see that there isn’t any weirdness, she didn’t come.  I’m not sure I blame her, really. 

“I’m going to spend the holiday with my ex and her family” yea I get that is a little odd.  But in our defense, my family is awesome.

So, I shrug my shoulders, think that I need to find a new mechanic and go to bed.

This morning I awake to a rambling email from the fiancé.

Just fucking terrific.

It wasn’t an, “Hi, I’d love to get to know you” email.

It was an “I think you’re inappropriate, I didn’t block you on M’s Facebook, I don’t want to get to know you” etc, etc…

It was a long email and I really can’t sum it up here, but I have to say that I feel attacked.  I haven’t replied, I don’t even know if I will, I sorta feel the need to defend myself, she’s got a few things really wrong, but who am I to shatter her delusions?  I am NO THREAT to their relationship, but her attack makes me think that she feels I am.  I, honestly, don’t want her to feel like that.  I wouldn’t want anyone to feel like that.  M had a history of infidelity, so I’m sure that is always in the back of her mind, she even mentioned it in the email.

I may be bitchy sometimes, but I truly don’t want to be the instrument of ANYONE’s pain.  Unless, of course, it’s some jerkface that’s hurt someone I love, then it’s on like Donkey Kong.

The only thing the mean part of me wants to reply is “You know those sheets on his bed? They’re mine.”  But, in reality, I’d never do that. 

Ok, enough about that shit.

Last night I started putting together a photo collage.  Mausoleum doors and gates.  “Doorways of Death”, I’ve dubbed it.

I got them all framed last night, now to decide where and how I’m going to hang them.

And I bought myself some flowers last night.  I love fresh flowers and since I don’t have anyone to give them to me, I’ll give them to myself!!!

Depression, Bluegrass and Cemeteries

I've suffered with depression for many years... An on and off kind of thing.
Sometimes I can sense its insidious creeping across my life, like the girl from The Ring slithering its way into my days and nights.

Other times, it's like I stepped off a curb without looking both ways and it hits me full on like a mother fucking TANK bus.

Did anyone see the bus that sped away?

It's something that I don't even care to talk about, generally.  It makes me feel weak, less than really.  I know, intellectually, that is a silly way to feel.  But feeling that way doesn't make my feelings valid, it just makes me ashamed of them.

I know that I'm not alone in suffering from depression, it seems like people are suffering at epidemic proportions.  Of course I never liked being like everyone else.
My depression is also a medication-resistant variety, which basically means that I just need to learn to live with it.

Puny TrippyBeth

So, I have a few bad days now and then.  This weekend has been a few of those bad days.  Yesterday and today I have also been stricken with a migraine.  Migraines and depression travel hand-in-hand.

Why can't depression and glowing skin or depression and perfect hair or depression and ample breasts go hand-in-hand??

Sigh, but it is what it is.

So.... Friday night, before I was afflicted with the depression/migraine double whammy, I went out for a family birthday dinner and then headed to the Southgate House Revival (http://www.southgatehouse.com/) to see a show.

 

The Revival is such a cool venue...

Two shots from the Sanctuary.

I love old churches.  Not because I'm religious, I'm agnostic actually.  But because of the beautiful architecture. 
There is a small church for sale on Madison Avenue, that I'd love to have and convert into a home, if it wasn't on Madison Avenue.  Maybe some day...

We went to the Southgate to see The Tillers (http://the-tillers.com/home/) a really great local bluegrass band.  They did not disappoint.  Their sound is so clean, LOVE THEM!

Before The Tillers took the stage we were audibly raped by a band, whose genre I couldn't even begin to guess.  I could not decipher even ONE word that the singer was warbling... NOT ONE!
After a little homework, I discovered that they classified themselves as "Crust Metal". I've never heard of crust metal, I suppose I'm way outta the loop.  It doesn't matter though, you couldn't pay me to go to a crust metal show.

Also performing were Jason and the Punknecks (http://www.punknecks.com/), in the lounge.  I was diggin on them too, sadly the sound in there wasn't too good.  I suppose it was just an issue of acoustics, but  I'd definitely see them again.

Playing in the Sanctuary before The Tillers, were The Blue Rock Boys (https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Blue-Rock-Boys/237689076254875), an Irish traditional folk band.  They were great too!

The Pièce de résistance was The Tillers!!

When I got home Friday night, i put the camera on charge in anticipation of heading to Spring Grove Cemetery Saturday morning.

I got up Saturday morning, gathered my camera, a rain hat and hit the road.

I got to Spring Grove, it was overcast, but not raining.  There weren't a lot of people there, even though it was warm.  I got the Nikon out, put it around my neck, stuck the iPhone in my pocket and headed out.  I get to the edge of one of the ponds, there was some fog still hanging over the water, a perfect photo op.  I turn on the Nikon.  Nothing.
I go back to the car, exchange the battery.  Still NOTHING.
I was so frustrated, I couldn't figure out what was going on, I had charged the camera for several hours.
Maybe I had over-charged it?  Is that even possible?

I was mad and nearly left.

But, I still had my trusty iPhone and I've taken some pretty fantastic photos with it in the past, so off i went!
I got some pretty good shots, I'm printing a few to frame and add to my gallery wall.

Here are a couple, the first, of course is me.  You can check out more, if you like, at my Flickr page http://www.flickr.com/photos/trippybeth/.

When I got home, start looking over the camera, I discover that I was charging it WRONG.  Sheesh AND I had even charged it once before!!  I am so not techy, and obviously not a reader of operations manuals.
But now, the camera is fully charged and I 'm ready to head out and get some more awesome photos!  I'd love to get some cemetery shots in the snow, surely that should be doable soon!

Ok, I'm off now, hopefully my head will calm down enough for me to finish the book I'm reading...

To go completely off subject, I'd love to go to Mortuary School, I think I'd be good at it, good with the departed and with the families.  Sadly, as a single girl, there's no way I could do it now, financially and with work.

Oh, and I'll leave you with a photo of my new notepad, I can't wait to write a note to the Backstabber on it!!

Giant Chickens in the Bathroom

Friday, it’s finally here!

I have literally done nothing but work all week.  I have been a total slug.  Well actually, I’ve stopped at the store a couple of times, I have even cooked myself a couple of meals… impressive right?

I have a cooking question though…

What is up with the giant fucking chicken breasts?  Have they always been that BIG??

I have to say that they make me feel extremely inadequate!  I mean, how big are the chickens?  Instead of eating one should I just swallow a bottle of Premarin?  If I’m ingesting all those hormones, shouldn’t MY boobs get bigger?

Now I feel inadequate AND disappointed.

But I had a great dish of baked chicken, potatoes, brussel sprouts, mushrooms, carrots and onions.  I just threw everything in the dish, put a little chicken broth on it, threw it in the oven and retired to the bathtub.

Now, I have chicken to eat for DAYS!

After an hour soak, I got out, supper was done and I ate while watching old episodes of “House”. 

Sometimes, I’m so painfully single…

I have to mention bathroom etiquette again… I know, I know… I’m not obsessed or anything, but my questions remain.

Handicapped stalls.

I will only use a handicapped stall if ALL THE OTHER STALLS ARE FULL.

This, in my observation, makes me a minority.  I would say that 75% of women head straight for the handicapped stall.

I would feel like a total jerk if my NON-handicapped ass was in a handicapped stall and a legit handicapped person had to wait, then judging me as I WALK out with no cane, no wheelchair, not even a limp.

My feelings about avoiding them became strong after one incident in particular…

All normal stalls were full, and I REALLY had to pee.

I saunter into the graciously proportioned handicapped area.

I am precariously doing the hover-pee (which isn’t easy when you’re short and it’s a tall toilet).

Then… all of a sudden, out of nowhere…

B L A M!!

The door is struck, FORCEFULLY with a cane and a little blue haired lady walks in.

AND, she just stands there looking at me as I levitate my ass over the toilet seat.

“Excuse YOU?” I say with a raised eyebrow.

“Hhhmmpppfff” she grunts, and walks out, leaving the door open. 

Peeing in front of someone is one thing, but wiping with an audience? That’s just awkward, take it from me…

Just another day in my life.

Last night while looking for photos to add to my new Flickr page (http://www.flickr.com/photos/trippybeth/) I came across a couple of silly photos that I thought I’d share with you.

First, I give you this little gem.

Me, peering up the skirt of Cincinnatus (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cincinnatus) who, surprisingly, the city of Cincinnati was named for.  There is nothing under there, in case you wondered.

Me with my mouth on some pork.

Cincinnati is the Porkopolis, so you'll find pigs all over the city.  One has to give them a little love!

Me and my secret lover, The Captain.

Even though I was reminded on vacation why I don't drink rum often.  Holy hangover headache!

And finally, me looking like a total goof in a knit cap!

Have a good weekend friends!!

 

Featuring TrippyBeth!!! LOOK AT ME!!!

I really have nothing of any interest to talk about today.

I've actually been working fairly hard today.

Oh, and I created a Flickr page: http://www.flickr.com/photos/trippybeth/

I think most of the photos I've already shared on here, but now I'm sharing with an entirely different population!

Maybe that one dude I went out with, who said I "liked attention" was right...

BUT I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE!

SO.... HA!!!

I hope to add more photos later tonight, since I have nothing else to do...

Have a happy Thursday night my friends!!!

Psycho-Style Wednesday

Half of my first week back is now complete… I’ve got my work at the office caught up and I no longer feel like I’m going to die!

Yay!

My plans for the weekend, hopefully, will include a trip to Spring Grove Cemetery (http://www.springgrove.org/) I’d like to get some winter bleak photos.  It’s supposed to be 68 degrees on Saturday with only a 30% chance of rain.  A little rain won’t dissuade me anyway.

I’ve been perusing a photographer’s website over the last two days, www.abandonedonline.net .  I am enamored with abandoned architecture.  I love all different types of architecture, as a rule, but forsaken buildings always tug at my heart strings a little bit.  Sherman Cahal does a great job of capturing the loneliness on film.  Do yourself a favor and check out his work.

As much as I love cemetery photography, I think I’d like to try my hand at more architectural photography.  I definitely want to get more photos of the Dexter Mausoleum (http://www.springgrove.org/dexter-mausoleum---section-20.aspx).

Hopefully, all will work out and I’ll have lots of great photos to show you on Monday.

I have a digital photography class on the 23^rd, which basically is to teach me how to use the camera.  I am sorely in need of this lesson!  If I had an attention span beyond that of a goldfish, I’d read the manual.  Come to think of it, I think there was a CD… hhhhmmmm, maybe I’ll check that out tonight.

If you’ve been reading for any length of time, you may recall me mentioning “the backstabber” who also works in my office.

Things with her have been fine for a while.

Until today.

Aside from her penchant for sliding sharp objects deep into my spinal area, she also likes to play martyr.  I’d honestly rather be stabbed repeatedly, Psycho-style, than be witness to “poor poor me” martyrdom.  I mean, for fuck’s sake woman, get over yourself.

If you’re lucky enough to take some vacation time and someone else covers your desk, say “Thank you very much” maybe even bring them a donut, then SHUT THE HELL UP.

I wasn’t the one to cover for her, lucky for her, but if I hear her say “I had to go back over A LOT of what M did” one more time, she’s gonna get a mechanical pencil right in the eye.

THEN… after attempting to establish the fact that she is Queen-Know-It-All she comes back and asks the same question she’s asked forty-eleven times.

And you know how sometimes, when someone just forgets something, you tell them and a glimmer of recognition crosses their face?? NOT WITH HER, it’s like it’s all new information every-fucking-time I tell her.

I don’t expect that everyone I work with be eligible for MENSA, but let’s pay attention people!!!

Ok, goals for January:

1. more photography
2. call the lady back about volunteering with the homeless
3. get together with the girls
4. check out the Carnegie (http://www.thecarnegie.com/theatre/theatre.php?page=about)
5. wear more skirts
6. drink more wine
7. say YES more
8. be neater  who am i kidding? this won't happen...

I think that’s a good start!

Real World Blogging

Hello friends!
I am back in the real world, much to my chagrin.

Being an adult really sucks sometimes.

I finally got back into CVG at appx 930 Sunday night, after a pretty rough flight from Atlanta.  But I survived, my luggage made it home, so it was all good.

I was mostly ready to be back in the real world… well until yesterday morning.

20 fucking degrees, frost covered car, YUK!  I hate scraping my windows more than almost anything else in the entire world.  Not exaggerating.

Oh yea, and I’m exhausted.

I don’t know what I was thinking when I didn’t take yesterday as a vacation day as well.  Stupid stupid stupid.

Now it's Tuesday and I'm still beat down and I have a fucking Ohio Valley headache!

But, I’m tougher than I look, I’ll make it.

Walking through the airport Sunday night in Atlanta, an airport employee yelled at me “Hey girl, love the hat!! And that tattoo! I see you girl!”

I love gay guys.

Reminded me of when I was walking into the Cracker Barrel before Christmas for a family thingy.  I had on my red boots and a skirt.

A lady yelled across the parking lot “You rock those red boots, girl!”

The red boots, as I was riding on the tool box of a truck.

A few random vacation photos....

Smithwick's.

The waiter and I discussed how annoying it is when people mispronounce the name of this yummy beer.  I said that if they cannot get it right, they should be denied good beer.  The waiter concurred.

Daytona Beach at night.

Pretty much the only way I like the beach.

A new skirt.

Daytona Motor Speedway.

Flight ready.

A few NON-vacation photos:

The vintage cocktail set I received for Christmas.

Updated bar shot, notice the tequila??

Writing this posting today was an ABSOLUTE NIGHTMARE.
I don't know what's up with Blogger, but if it keeps being a bitch, I'll have to move on!
Straighten your shit up, Blogger!

Do You Miss Me?

Ok before I write anything of any consequence, I have to say that I fucking hate Blogger for iPhone... I lost an entire post!!

Now I feel better.

I am still on vacation, currently in South Georgia, where it's been a little chilly, but nothing like dealing with the cold, snow and muck in the Ohtucky!
I am a little homesick though, I know... Crazy girl!

I am a little obsessive before I travel. It has nothing to do with flying, that doesn't bother me, it's just this weird obsessive fear of forgetting something.
Like my rent, or various crap that could easily be purchased in any city.
Before we departed I mentally...
Ok OUT LOUD... Reviewed my lists.
Ben said "You ARE weird before you travel".
I warned him.

I get down here and I've forgotten the power cord to the notebook.

Fuck.

So... I've not done anything productive. I've not written a single word (until this post) and I haven't really taken any interesting photos.
However, I have read 4 books so far and drank a considerable amount of wine, beer and rum. I've shopped a little, slept alot. But I'm about done being lazy.

I hear the real world calling me home...

Ok I don't know how to caption a photo from the iPhone...
Pic 1 - tank top weather
Pic 2 - new hat (one of 2)
Pic 3 - Daytona sun
Pic 4 - the day I left
Pic 5 - lazy vaca trippybeth