Sigh…
At my last posting I confessed to being smitten. According to Webster’s, one of the definitions of smitten is “To be struck with a firm blow”.
I couldn’t have been more accurate with using a term than I was with using smitten.
Today, I was struck with a firm blow, unexpectedly, squarely in the gut.
I was dismissed.
I can’t really say “dumped” since there was no relationship declaration. But I feel DUMPED.
Crying at work is sooooooo not cool.
I won’t detail his reasons here, out of respect for him, his reasons are his own and from what he said it wasn’t about me (unless that was just to spare my feelings). I actually understand the reasons that he gave me; it’s someplace that I’ve been before.
Maybe my stupid enthusiasm had something to do with it… in fact, I’m sure that it did. I wear my heart on my sleeve sometimes, and when I think something or have an idea, I have to share it, that’s just how I roll… maybe I need to change some more things about me???
Do I think that he’s being rash? Do I think that he’s fucking up?
HELL YES I DO.
But, it’s not my decision… I can only live with it.
I guess I’m upset that I let myself feel a connection with someone and have some hope that it could possibly turn into something. That’s not my usual MO. But, I did feel a connection with him; I saw something very special in him that I haven’t seen in many before.
I’m not mad, but my feelings are hurt, I have that pain that a person gets deep inside their chest, maybe that’s where my soul is??
Now what do I do this weekend? I took a vacation day on Friday because we were gonna take a day trip. I was so looking forward to it.
I guess I could go alone, but that doesn’t sound like too much fun to me…
I think I’ll just get drunk.
6 comments:
Back on your feet soon enough, says I
I hope that you're right John ;-)
Sure I am-bourbon can't be wrong.
I had a similar experience three months ago. I met a gal on POF, we went out, seemingly hit it of, and things progressed quickly (in hindsight, perhaps quicker than it should have).
After a week, she sends me the proverbial "dear John' letter, complete with the "its not you its me" punchline.
I like to think she's right, it IS her, not me.
I have taken my frustrations out by creating my own blog about my own online dating woes. I won't post the ad here though. But it helps.
I an imagine, though, as a woman you have a far easier time finding a date on POF than a guy like myself. Someone convinced me to make a woman's profile to see the difference, so today I made one just to see how much attention it gets. It has been online three hours, and already it has gotten more attention than I got in three years.
So far it shows me that it is a woman's world out there, at least as far as online dating goes. I'm sure you'll be fine.
Well, my friend and I actually discussed our issues and have decided not to abandon each other yet. Amazing what being open and honest can do for 2 people. It is usually my habit to run for the hills when something gets hard, glad I haven't done that.
I'm not sure that it's "easier" for women... Sure most women probably get more email than the average guy... But I'd say that a good 75% of that email is from pervs that just want to get laid, fortunately a good percentage of the 75% will tell you up front. So once you weed all those out, the numbers probably aren't that different.
I'd LOVE to read your blog!
Email me the link? trippybeth @ gmail dot com.
Done. Hope you enjoy it. After a couple of days, i'll post the results of my latest experiment.
So far no one has asked my new alter-ego if she wants to get naked yet. LOL
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