Relationships…
I want one.
I don’t want one.
I’m ready to jump in.
I’m scared to fucking death.
It’s like everyone is always playing hot potato with relationships…
“Come on throw it to me!”
“Ouch, fuck, here you take it back!”
I really think that I’m in the place now to accept a relationship if it is presented to me.
I am craving some comfort, some dependability and some intimacy on the regular. Is that too much for a girl to ask for?
Those are things that I’ve NEVER really had. In my one LTR I didn’t have comfort or dependability. I never knew from day to day what things were going to be like; it was like perpetually waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I think that situation has made me gun shy.
“And you can’t run the minute something doesn’t go right” said M as we discussed a romantical prospect for me.
Intellectually, I know and understand this. No one wants to be the runaway girlfriend. But I take every hiccup and bump in the road to be a sign of worse things to come. Again, I know this doesn’t have to automatically be the case.
Working through the hiccups makes relationships stronger, right?
Anyway, I’m ready…
TrippyBeth is opening herself up to the universe.
There has to be one good guy out there:
who thinks that my quirks are endearing
who tolerates my obsessions
who loves my backrubs
who enjoys a neck nuzzle
who will wake me when I hit the snooze too many times
who will call me for no reason
who will traipse around in the cold with me to take photos
who will take road trips
who will want to do various family things
who will bring me tea when I’m sick
who will have a hearty appetite when I’m cooking
who will lay their head in my lap when we watch TV
That’s the short list.
Now, for a short rant on dating sites.
Well it’s not the sites in particular that I have an issue with or men in general. It’s just SOME men, and these men COULD be perfectly good guys… but what I take issue with is the screen names that the select. I’m not sure if they think that the names are sexy and enticing or that they really are pervy.
Last night I get a notice that “Lickyyou” wants to meet me.
Really dude? THAT’S the name you choose?
It seems like all of the pervy screen names are various combinations of “lick” and “69”.
Kudos for originality guys…
Moving on.
Sexual enchantment.
One of my BFFs said to me the other night “You have always given off ‘Sexy Vibes’ as I call them, not every woman can pull that off. I think that you are blind to your sex appeal.” When we were chatting about my romantical prospects.
Before I continue, I love this girl with all my heart and we have been BFFs for more years than I will admit to.
I’m not sure I even know what a “sexy vibe” is.
I am not the most beautiful girl (Cire Bron concurs) I don’t have the best body, I’m chubby, I’m awkward and clumsy... I’m not sure how any of that could be considered sexy in any reality. But I’ll take it.
I once had a guy friend tell me that I put off a “fuck me” vibe.
WHOA, what?
“Some girls do” he said.
Interesting. I really don’t even know what to say about it. Which is weird, I know.
Apparently, last night, I did not plug my iPhone in to charge, which ordinarily shouldn’t be a problem to most people.
However, I use my phone for my alarm.
I awoke this morning to a cat purring in my ear and sunlight streaming in through the window shades.
“FUCK”
I roll over, grab my phone…
DEAD as a fucking frog.
So, I just lay there for a minute, thinking I’m going to be late and I have things to do after work.
I pluck the TV remote from my nightstand, flip on the TV, and guess what???
I WOKE UP ON TIME!!!
THAT NEVER HAPPENS!
I even had time to wash my hair and put on lipstick, it’s going to be a good day bitches!!!
I did get some good photos this weekend, head on over to my other blog and have a look J.
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