Communication Conundrum

 It’s 2012 and we have so many ways to communicate, it is almost overwhelming.

Home phones, cell phones, pay phones, texting, emailing, IMing……  Everyone knows that the pay phone is strictly the tool of the drug dealer and the man having an affair… Actually probably just the man having the affair.  Drug dealers love their technology, so I’m told.

How, with this veritable smorgasbord of communication options, is there still a lack of it?

Most people I know, with very few exceptions, have their cellular phones with them at all times.  I can’t say that I’ve ever even been on a date where the other party’s phone didn’t make at least one appearance.  I’m not offended by it, although I’ve heard many say that they think it’s rude.  Maybe I’d be offended if he was texting another woman and not his child, like he told me.  If someone texted throughout our entire date, I’d have a problem with that.  Thankfully, that’s never happened.

Sometimes, I choose not to reply to a text, I miss a text if I get a flurry of them all at once, I fall asleep during texting conversation. But I would say that 95% of the time I promptly return text messages.

Instant messages, however, are not always replied to as promptly.  I almost look at an IM like an email.  If someone needed to reach me urgently, they would text.

I know that you’re thinking “If someone wanted to reach TrippyBeth urgently, why wouldn’t they just call her?”

TrippyBeth HATES talking on the phone.  HATE HATE HATE HATE IT!!

And, I hate listening to voice mails.  My voice mail message even says that I may not listen to the message you are leaving.  Which seems to be offensive to some people “Well…? I hope you listen to this message.” I can see that I missed a call from said person, when I notice this; I’ll determine whether or not I can actually tolerate listening to the message.  A large percentage of the time, I cannot, so I don’t.

This particular little habit of mine could be bringing Karma’s wrath down upon me.

Not that this happens often, but it has happened over the last few years….

“My phone died and I didn’t recharge it.”  From someone who conducts actual business from their phone.  And this same person seemed highly offended when I doubted the story…. Methinks he doth protest too much.

“There is something wrong with my phone; I’ve been sending you messages.”  I am suspicious about this one too. 

Although I once had a Palm go into text failure.  Took me a while to realize what was going on.  I spent an entire weekend thinking that no one liked me anymore, because no one would return a text.  The following Monday morning, a friend called “Where are you?” he asked.  “At work, why?” I replied.  “I’ve been texting you all weekend and you never replied.”

It seems everyone thought that I was either just plain rude or crazy busy.

Once the technical issue was discovered, I trekked out to the AT&T store… they saw me coming…..  I could get a Blackberry for $.01 with an upgrade, so this was what I fully intended to do.

I made the mistake of pausing in front of the iPhone display.

$200 later, I walked out with an iPhone.  I’m a sucker.  Now, I can hardly live without it.

There could also be a catastrophe that would cause someone to lose all of their numbers, I had this happen once when my first iPhone took a shit and someone had not backed up her contacts.  But that would only explain not initiating a text, wouldn’t explain not returning one.

“I lost my phone!”  But now, conveniently “I found it!”  I’d probably believe this one if it only happened ONE time.

I’ve heard other people say that they were given the “I was asleep” excuse…. But they could see that the person’s Facebook status was being updated, via their phone, while they said they were asleep.

Busted by your own technology…  That can’t be a good feeling.

Sometimes, when someone doesn’t reply to me, my imagination goes wild.  Are they sick? Dying? In a ditch?

If someone is in the middle of a true emergency or actively dying, I don’t expect a reply. 

But if you’re not, be courteous…. REPLY… even if to tell me to “Fuck off” 

It seems that the person who chooses not to reply is the person that holds the power, in whatever type of relationship it is. Therefore, making the simple act of communicating into a game, where there is no fun or prizes.

So……… if at some point in the future, you and I are communicating in some not-in-person mode, and you don’t want to continue, grow some balls and tell me to “Fuck off”. 

Be a grown-up about it and tell me why….

Moday Musings...

Aahhhh Monday, you have returned to torment the world……. But, once again, I have arrived at work unscathed… ready to do battle!  Ok, the battle part might be a little extreme; TrippyBeth is a lover, not a fighter.

While at home last night, I had oodles of great ideas to blog about.

I was also lazy last night.  So no blogging happened, obviously, but I did make some notes, notes which really don’t make any sense this morning.  Maybe, after I ingest more caffeine, things will start to come together.

Have you ever done the “make notes about your dream when you wake up” thing?  You know, when you wake up after a particularly memorable dream, you grab up the notebook you have on your nightstand, and jot down all the high points, then return to a peaceful slumber.

I’ve done this a few times.  What I have learned from this is that it is pointless to make notes in the middle of the night.  They end up looking like some bizarre hieroglyphics, which have not been interpreted my modern man.

Maybe I should try making voice notes…. That should be hilarious.

I very seldom have dreams that I remember anyway, unless they are night terrors.  Night terrors I remember every detail of.  Those have almost completely disappeared from my sandman time.  It’s amazing what removing certain drama from your life can accomplish.

This morning, as I was valiantly trying to get ready to arrive at work on time, I perused my Facebook newsfeed.  In the mornings, it seems to be filled with inspirational messages and quotes. 

I’m sure that there is someone who had gotten out of bed on Monday morning thinking to themselves “Fuck this, I can’t take one more day” walks over to the window, opens it and climbs out onto the ledge. 

“Well, let me check my Facebook first.”  They pull out their smart phone, open it to look at their newsfeed.  Pigeons peck around at their feet as they stand on the ledge, phone in hand, finger scrolling through their feed.

“Wait a minute!! I am supposed to be the best ME I can be today!! I never thought of that!” 

Climbs back through the window. 

“Thank you, Joe Schmo, for copying and pasting that inspirational status, you saved my life.”

DOES THAT EVER HAPPEN?

Uuuuuummmmmm NO, I can guarantee that it does not.  Do statuses like that just make the people posting them feel better about themselves? I don’t know….

I digress….

As I looked at Facebook, I realize something; I am almost the female GoodLuck Chuck.  There are several guys that I have dated that are now in real relationships.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for them.  There are reasons that I’m no longer with them.  I’m cool with that.  I generally remain friends with guys I’ve dated.  I am not a bridge burner. 

Sometimes, I even wind up giving relationship advice to guys I’ve dated.  Which seems to me like it’s a poor choice on their part.  I am undoubtedly no relationship expert.  One would think that someone who had dated me would know that better than anyone.  However, I am a woman and. if you’ve been reading this blog you are aware of the fact that, I always have an opinion.  So I try to help when I can, giving them little clues into the female psyche.  I am still not sure how helpful I am, but dammit, I try!

On Saturday I had a super productive thrift store jaunt!! I got: 2 skirts, 14 shirts, 1 pr sequin pants, 6 capris, 1 dress, 1 pr pants, 2 vests, 2 purses, 1 tote bag, some wall art, a few glasses, a cocktail sharker, a microwave for my friend GC and a wine rack for my friend DH!  Saturday is half off day at the Goodwill, so I really scored!

The sequin pants and shiny skirt are for sequin theme night, which still needs a cooler name.

Some of the art.

  The piece in the center is a photograph of Cincinnati from Covington, awesome find if I do say so myself!

The wine rack I picked up for DH, that I now want.

My thrift store party glass collection.  Now I need to have a party!

I also went back home over the weekend.  It was a very nice visit.  I get back every couple of months.  I was last back for Father’s Day and a graduation party for the son of a friend.  My home town/county was a great place to grow up.  But I can honestly say that I never want to go back there to live.  There are not many girls there that look like me, I don’t really fit in anymore.  But that’s ok.  For now, my life is here in the Cincinnati/NKY area…. Who knows what the future will bring? But a return back home is highly unlikely.

I had a friend say to me “Home is where you make it”  I don’t agree.  I don’t feel at home where I live now.  I’m comfortable, I like my place but it’s still not home. 

My quest to find home continues….

Friday Flaws...

Good morning… it’s Friday my friends… I am beyond ready for it!

TrippyBeth woke up today with a migraine…major bummer.  Hopefully it will abate and I will be able to carry on with my plans for the weekend.  At this point it is not looking good.  I am, however, at work.  Dedication can be so tiring at times.

I did go to the Black Stone Cherry concert last night.  Those Kentucky boys put on a good show.

Black Stone Cherry on the stage at The Madison.

Three things that I really love about them, aside from their music are: 

1) The drummer’s name is John Fred, how awesome is that??  And he has fantastic drummer hair; all drummers should have a long wild outta control mane.  It should be a state law.

Once, a couple of years ago I went to the Mad Hatter, which used to be in Covington, to see my boys Taddy Porter. 

My friend DW dubbed this photo Titty Porter.

The Mad Hatter was one of the biggest shit holes I have ever been in. One almost expected to look around and see a used condom on the floor or a syringe.  I’ll go pretty much anywhere to see Taddy Porter though, so I suffered through.  If you’re not familiar, do yourself a favor and check them out, http://taddyporter.com/blog/.  Bluesy rock. Good stuff.

The lead singer, Andy Brewer, is totally cool and posed for a photo op with Cy.

Andy Brewer and Cy Press.

Anyway, one of the forty-eleven opening bands had the biggest drummer I’ve ever seen.  Seriously, the dude was 500# and that is a conservative estimate.  He didn’t have awesome drummer hair, but he beat the hell outta those drums.  The entire time they played we kept saying “That’s the biggest drummer I’ve ever seen.”

2) The lead singer is all tattooed up, yet has a hair cut like an accountant.

3) They are from KY; the aforementioned drummer is actually the son of one of the members of the Kentucky Headhunters.  I dig a legacy.

I was disappointed that there wasn’t a bigger crowd, the tickets were cheap and those boys rock it.  I think the slim crowds at the recent shows I’ve been to there are a result of poor marketing on the part of the Madison Theater.  Don’t get me wrong, FOR ME a modest crowd is good, I can get closer to the stage, if I choose, and don’t get pushed around or elbowed in the head. 

But I’m all about the bands that I love being successful.  Which means BIG audiences.  So step it up Madison Theater!  Get folks in to see these guys!!

One the dating forefront….

I am cautiously optimistic!  We shall see how things work out.

As I perused dating profiles a while back, I read one where the gentleman had asked 2 women that were close to him, how they would describe him if they were trying to set him up with someone.  Brilliant idea.  He also said that if they had said anything negative, then he would know what to work on.

So I posed the question to 3 of my best guy friends.  As of today, only JG has completed the task.

As a rule, I am self-deprecating, that’s just how I roll.  It’s actually hard for me to hear good things about myself.  I have a difficult time seeing myself through the eyes of others.  I’d venture to guess that I’m not the only one who feels like that.  I generally only see the negative.  When I look in the mirror, I see the ugly, but I’m trying hard to overcome this.  Positive begets positive, right???

I once created a dating profile only outlining the negative things about myself.  I did this strictly as an anthropological experiment.  In my head, I was sure that no one would respond to it.

WAS I EVER WRONG!

I got more email that you could shake a stick at.  I didn’t leave the profile up very long, nor did I meet anyone. It was eye opening.

I’m not sure if men are more attracted to a fucked up girl, or if it was strictly the honesty that made them feel compelled to reply.  Maybe it was both.  A lot of the replies were men describing how they were damaged themselves.  It is freeing to lay it all out there and if you think someone is equally or comparably fucked up you feel like you’re safer.  

I’m open about most of my flaws, last night I said “I’m bad at math; I’m not good with money.  But there are some things that I know, like beer and bourbon.”  I actually do know more than that and less than that.

I did have a friend tell me that he thinks I’m afraid to be happy.  I think he’s wrong.  I want to be happy; I’m just not going to settle for something that I don’t feel is right.  This same friend also compared my dating life to a Seinfeld episode.  Thanks SL.  I guess what bugs me about that analogy is that he’s right.  There was the tickler, too much cologne guy, the toucher, the ravenous wolverine… I could go on and on…  I’m still looking for the dude with lady-hands, I just want to go out with him once, and get a photo with his hand on my boob, so my boob will look really big!

I may head back home for a visit this weekend….  Aaahhhh the country… like JG said, I’m a country girl at heart, but I can’t see myself ever returning, it’s just not me anymore.  And I’m more me now than I’ve ever been!

Have a great weekend everyone! See you back here on Monday!

Optimistic Suicide....

“I don’t want to end up in your blog.”

I wonder if writing this blog could end up being dating suicide?

Me, before heading out last night.

I direct people to the blog so that they might get an idea about who I am.  I think that it could make someone decide whether or not they would truly want to meet me.  I’m sure that a person could tell right away if we had zero things in common, or if they thought that I was a super cool, totally awesome chica that they HAD to get to know.

With that being said, I don’t document every minute of my life on here.  First of all, it would be entirely too boring and potentially sad.  But like I said to A last night “I don’t talk about the good things on my blog, some things I like to keep all to myself.”

Of course, there hasn’t been an excessive amount of “good things” going on since I started writing this blog.  That’s not to say that I haven’t had fun, I have, I try to always have fun.

Maybe, when I meet THE ONE (don’t laugh at me, I am allowed to act like a girl) I’ll share it.  Hell, who knows, I could go in to total estrogen overdrive and torture you with unending slobbering over THE ONE.  Doesn’t sound like me.  But I really can’t say what would happen, there has been no precedent.

I could fall madly in love and my next tattoo will be homage of my beloved! Yea, I’m pretty sure that will never happen.  I don’t mean the “madly in love” part, I mean the tattoo in homage of my beloved.  I cannot see myself EVER getting anyone’s name tattooed upon my skin; I truly believe that’s a bad idea.  A bad idea for me, I’m sure there are folks out there who are perfectly happy with a lover’s name etched upon their breast.  To each his or her own.

I do have tattoos that symbolize family members.  I know their meaning, but the casual onlookers wouldn’t know.  And I’m okay with that.  Some things are personal.  So I could possibly, someday, get a tattoo that symbolizes someone that I have fallen in love with.

I kinda like this, the matching, simple hearts.  My only issue with this, is if (and we all know that it can happen) things go horribly wrong, you are forever stuck with this reminder.  I know it could be covered or removed, but that’s even more of a reminder of a failure.  Just call me Polly Anna, I’m forever the optimist!

Actually I have been a little more optimistic lately.  I have concert tickets to see Black Stone Cherry (http://www.blackstonecherry.com/) tonight that I bought a few months ago.  When I bought the tickets, I thought “I’ll surely be dating someone by then”. 

WRONG.

I did get a friend to agree to go with me tonight, so it will still be fun!  Dinner first at Cock-N-Bull, which I always call Cock-N-Balls thanks to CC, then the concert at The Madison Theater (http://www.madisontheateronline.com/index.php)!!  It’s a cool venue, a great place to catch a show, and as a bonus, it’s not too far from my own humble abode!

I have tickets for an upcoming party over Labor Day weekend, the 2011 Fireworks Party on the Purple People Bridge (http://www.cincyfireworks.com/#!about-us) and, currently, I don’t have a +1, but I still have some time.  It’s a BBQ dinner, up to 10 pints of craft beer or mixed drinks, blues music and you get to watch the fireworks from the bridge.  It shouldn’t be hard to get someone to accompany me to that, right? But, it’s still me, so who knows… (that was a little pessimistic).

I also have an extra ticket for the ZZ Top concert in September, but if I can’t find a date, I’m sure I can get someone to go.  I mean, it’s ZZ-friggin-Top!

I love Covington, so much to do, I’m really glad that I moved here.  It’s a far cry from the town of 500 that I’m from.  There are always festivals and events in the area. 

I remember the first time that I went to Maifest in Mainstrasse.

CC and I met there in the early afternoon.  We began drinking big mugs of festival beer.  I had been chatting with a man that happened to be a detective with an area police department.  We were texting that day and I told him that he should come down to the festival.  I warned him that CC was with me, that he was a guy, but it was totally cool.  He was okay with it and agreed to come down to meet me. But he wouldn’t arrive until approximately 6 hours after I had arrived.

This was poor planning.

When he arrived CC and I had over-imbibed.  In my defense, I was unaware that the Kentucky Bourbon Barrel Ale (KBBA)had such a high alcohol content.  I only knew that it was yummy!

The detective found us listening to a band.  He sat in a chair between CC and I, this was a bad move on his part. 

CC is a terrible wing man, yes I said it.

As the detective and I attempted to chat and get to know one another, CC kept interjecting.  “Are you going to be Beth’s PRIVATE DICK?”  and if he had said it once, I could have blown it off.  He said it OVER AND OVER AND OVER!!!!

Needless to say, the detective suddenly needed to “go to work” and abruptly headed out.  Who could blame him??  I was giggly and silly, CC was inebriated and obnoxious… GO US!

We venture to another bar, when I come to the realization that we will have to get a hotel room.  So I get my phone out to call for one.  I cannot even complete that simple task, and neither can CC.

Since I am never hesitant to talk to strangers when I’m sober, and even less so when drinking, I turn to a couple sitting at a table behind us and say “Hey, can you help us book a hotel room?”

The girl says “Sure!” whips out her phone, and bing, bang, boom has the hotel on the phone, hands us her phone and the next thing I know, we have a room reserved!

So in celebration of their kindness, shots start to flow.  We hang out with them and celebrate for a while before we make our way to the hotel.  I’m sure we were asleep before our heads hit the pillows.

The next morning we were awake by 8am, which is not like either of us.  We were confused.  What was wrong with us?  Why were we awake so early?  As we began to mentally retrace the steps of the evening, I got out my phone.  I saw the time that we were attempting to phone a hotel, did some math in my head.  We were probably back at the hotel by 11pm!! No wonder we were up so early!

So take TrippyBeth’s advice, choose your wingman wisely and remember KBBA has a high alcohol content!!!

 

Wait... is that ramp exit only??

Well today is not looking good for anything interesting from TrippyBeth… is it weird that I feel guilty???

I am drowning in actual work; it is not a pleasant way to go I assure you!

This is what is preventing a super interesting post today!!

My brain can’t take it…. I have a good job; it allows me to steal a little free time here and there, which I make up for by working doubly hard.  But it doesn’t exactly require brain acrobatics.  I, literally, dozed off at my desk for about minute, but for no more than 5.  I got up off of my dead ass and wandered to the pharmacy in the lobby and purchased some chocolate coated enthusiasm.

Don’t chastise me, sometimes you have to do what you have to do in order to survive a day.  My salad and abnormally large cucumber was not gonna cut it today.

One of the few things that will bring a bright spot to my otherwise dull and boring workday is a foreign body in the rectum.

Not in my rectum, mind you.  I guess that would change the tone of my day!

I used to see the cases quite regularly when my hospitals included one that was more urban.  However, we still manage to have about one per month. YAY!!

The objects vary from expected dildos and vibrators, to more resourceful uses of everyday household items.  We have seen shampoo bottles (sadly I don’t know the brand, but I want to know soooooo badly), hairspray cans, plastic Easter eggs, ping pong balls, potatoes, dog toys, Etcetera.  One person lost a 10” dildo, and then inserted a 6” dildo right after it (sorta like the old lady who swallowed a fly?) and they were both irretrievable.

While I totally get being kinky and experimenting, what I don’t get is…… you’re sitting at the dinner table, before you is a ketchup bottle; luring you with its slutty Heinz label, beckoning you to take it, own it….. “Oh yea, ketchup bottle, tonight you’re MINE!!”

For those of you that are unaware, things that are inserted into that particular orifice can easily become lost to the grasp of the untrained.  The colon creates a vacuum around those foreign objects, making them impossible to cajole from their lair.  Most of the time a general anesthetic is just the ticket, relaxing the innards of the patient so that the surgeon is able to grasp said object with forceps and return it to the light of day.  About 99% of the time this is successful, I do recall one case of a candle, of the 4’ diameter variety, that was impossible to remove by the previously described method.  The candle had to be broken up to dislodge it from the colon.  That unfortunate patient ended up requiring a colostomy.

"Why are we visiting Dad in the hospital?"

One of the interesting things that I’ve deduced from these cases is that the majority of the perpetrators are white men that are over the age of 50.  Now, I’m not sure what happens to men in this demographic, but fellas, it’s 2012!! There is a whole industry revolving around….uuuummmm….. Items you can purchase to use in this manner, safely, that won’t require a trip to the ER.  Ever hear of a little thing called the internets? You can order them from the relative anonymity of your bedroom and have them shipped in a plain, brown paper wrapper. 

And you won’t end up on the “risky behavior” list of some bean counter at your HMO.  What 50+yo wants to get a safe sex pamphlet in the mail??

Anyway…. Today’s patient was 80+ years old….. The foreign body was a dildo (someone knows how to use the ‘puter).  All I can say is that I am totally fucking impressed with his obvious flexibility, I’ve seen 80+ year olds that are doing good to reach around and wipe their ass, much less get a dildo lost up there!

Way to go Grandpa! Unless you’re a pervy grandpa, then STAY OUTTA MY NEIGHBORHOOD ya freak!!

Ok, back to bury my head in more operative reports… keep your fingers crossed for more foreign bodies in the rectum, I know I am!!

It's the Little Things.....

Coworkers…..

Do any of you have a coworker that annoys the absolute piss out of you??

I do.

We will call her OMG.

She is constantly saying “OH MY GOD” about everything.  I seriously want to jab one of my good gel pens into her eye.

She is left handed, an apparently yesterday was some left handed holiday. 

So I say “Is there a right hander’s holiday?”

She says “No, because left handers are better.”

Me “Then why is the whole world made for right handers?”

OMG…. Long pause…..”Well it shouldn’t be.”

“It is” me….. Victorious.

She was on vacation last week, and it was good (for me).  This week we are back to the brutal reality of her presence.

A lot of people have annoying habits; I could possibly have some myself, although I doubt it.  And I may be able to look over her repeated exclamations of “OH MY GOD” but she is also very judgmental, which I cannot tolerate.

She is particularly bad about judging eating habits, and she’s not a super fit diet conscious person.  Someone’s son ate 10 chicken nuggets, OMG “OH my god, 10 nuggets?” 

I wanna go all punchy on her!

There was bowl of gumballs on the table in the kitchen “Oh my god, gumballs?”  I am the last person that would want a gumball... but for fuck's sake, it's not OH MY GOD worthy!

Also, if someone gets something new and cool, she makes sure to say how she wouldn’t want whatever it is.

A few years ago when I got my first iPhone, she said “I wouldn’t want a phone that does all that; I just use my phone to make calls.”

When a coworker got a nice new car “I wouldn’t want a car with all that fancy stuff, too much to go wrong.”  She said.

Then a couple of months ago, she got an iPhone 4.  As she sat at lunch one day bragging about it, I said “I thought you only needed a cell phone to make calls on, you didn’t want a phone that would do all of that.”  She had no response.

Another day a friend at work and I were joking about Siri and the things we ask her.  OMG doesn’t have a 4s, so she doesn’t have Siri.  She says “I don’t need some woman telling me what to do” and I said “Just like you didn’t need an iPhone, right?”

She also describes, in excessive detail, all of her maladies.  The last thing I want to know is what color your snot is.  I truly do not care.  Just because I'm a nurse doesn't automatically make me interested.  I've seen people a lot sicker than you that didn't die. So suck it up and shut the hell up!

Don’t make me be mean… I don’t like myself when I act like that……

While I'm at it, there is another coworker that annoys me.......... The Baby Talker........ seriously, I am not joking.
There is grown ass woman here that insists on talking baby talk.  I do not get it AT ALL..... why would a person do that?  I don't even talk baby talk to actual babies.  However, I will talk baby talk to pets, as I don't ever expect them to speak.  Babies, should, one day speak and who wants them to talk like someone who's suffered a traumatic brain injury?

I know I'm not always work appropriate.  I say things that I probably shouldn't, "for fuck's sake" being my go-to phrase.  But baby talk?!?!  That is beyond inappropriate.  It's almost like nails down a blackboard.

I don't know......... Maybe it's just me??????

Festive Armadillos in Bib Overalls

Monday……………. What can I say?  No one really likes you Monday….. I realize that I’m being harsh, but come on…. Who likes being snuck up on?  I mean, we are all just chillin’ enjoying our Sunday, staying up too late……

Then…….BLAM!!! There’s Monday, taking us out at the knees…..

I made it in to the office, you stealthy bastard….. TrippyBeth -1; Monday – 0.

Now for the weekend round-up!

I actually had a pretty sedate weekend.  Those are good from time to time.  Friday night I did NOTHING!   

And it was good!

Saturday I got up fairly early straightened up the apartment and went to the Goodwill…… FINALLY found a coffee table! I’ve been looking for one for almost a year, and I got it for $10!! WOOT WOOT!

Then my parents picked me up and we went to the Great Inland Seafood Festival.  My parents were actually in a great mood, I enjoyed our time together.  I, however, did not really enjoy the food. I first got a stir fry thingy that wasn’t really good at all.  Then I relented and got a lobster that was ok.  There were people there eating multiple $10.95 lobsters.  Gluttony at it’s finest.  I just wasn’t feelin’ it.

On the way back to the car, my parents got cheesecake.  I did not, I am no cheesecake fan, it feels too weird on my tongue….GAG!

Saturday evening I went to the Cincinnati Blues Festival at Sawyer Point, it was a perfect night….

The Main Stage.

The Big Mac Bridge watching over the blues crowd.

The first band we heard was Trampled Under Foot, they were awesome!  Best female singer I’ve heard in a LONG time! The whole band was tight, they were fucking nailing it!  If you dig the blues, do yourself a favor and check them out! http://www.tufkc.com/

TrippyBeth at Bluesfest, cropped to protect the innocent.

The biggest treat of the evening was the band Absolute Value, they are part of the Blues Society Blues in the Schools program (http://cincyblues.org/bits) those kids threw it down!

It wasn’t a late night, walked back across the Purple People bridge to retrieve the car and head home.

Cincinnati from the Purple People Bridge

Newport from the Purple People Bridge

Sunday consisted of lunch at Cracker Barrel, someone wanted mashed potatoes soooooo badly….. then some shopping.  I only got 2 martini glasses and 2 headbands; I didn’t exactly score on Sunday.

On the way home from shopping, I got rear ended! AND NOT IN A GOOD WAY!!  There was a van a couple of cars ahead of me that stopped short.  I slammed on my brakes, miraculously stopping before I hit the car in front of me.  The jeep behind me was not blessed by the same miracle!

THUMP as he hit the back of my car. Dammit.

We pulled off to the side of the road to inspect the damage.  There was no obvious damage.  My car was checked underneath, still nothing.  It was a very low impact accident.  The young guy that hit me was pretty shook up.  Me, eh I’ve been hit before.  I assured him that we were all fine and we both departed on our merry ways.

I have decided to nickname my car.  It is a Pontiac Vibe, but it shall henceforth be called the Silver Armadillo!

My plans to attend a play at the Know Theater on Sunday had to be postponed.

So, as you can see, TrippyBeth was very boring this weekend… this week remains fairly unplanned, I may be boring all week!!

As I perused the racks of donated clothing at the Goodwill on Saturday and Sunday, I noticed an abundance of bib overall-type dresses, I must have seen at least a half dozen. 

They reminded me of a date I once went on……

I had been chatting with this guy; I’ll call him DG, for a little while.  We decided to meet on a Saturday night at a bar in his neck of the woods.  I hate to drive but I love an adventure, so I didn’t mind.

I arrived at the restaurant before him; I took a seat at the bar, ordered a drink and waited.  I would casually glance at the door from time to time, didn’t want to appear to be overly anxious.

After about 10 minutes I watched him walk through the door.

I know I was staring, but I couldn’t help it, I wasn’t quite sure what to make of him.

Our hero was wearing a tracksuit, a poufy nylon tracksuit. One that goes “swish swish swoosh” as the wearer walks.

Now I wouldn’t say that I’m superficial or materialistic.  I could deal with a tracksuit.  Even if it did puzzle me, he had, obviously, not come from the track.

DG spotted me right away and walked over to sit by me.  We made small talk for a little while, he seemed pleasant enough.  After about 30 minutes he says “I don’t normally dress like this.”  I breathed a sigh of relief.

“I normally wear bib overalls” he says.

What the actual fuck? Bib overalls?  He was neither a train engineer nor an elderly farmer!  My mind was reeling.  “I wonder if there is a banjo in his car?”  “He does have a pretty mouth.”  Bib overalls aren’t a good look for anyone.

I cannot let it be said that TrippyBeth is rude.  I hung in there.

He had told me in previous conversations that he had been at his job for 11 years. So I thought it would be safe to ask about his job.

“I’m going to barber college now” he says.  I asked what made him decide to do that.

“They were taking too much child support out of my check, so I quit.”

What a douche bag.  I stood up, gathered my jacket and purse.  “I’m done” I told him.  As I turned to walk out he says “I don’t live far from here if you want to come to my place.”

“Uuummm, yeah…..NO” I replied.

Are you beginning to understand why TrippyBeth is disillusioned with dating??