It's the Little Things.....

Coworkers…..

Do any of you have a coworker that annoys the absolute piss out of you??

I do.

We will call her OMG.

She is constantly saying “OH MY GOD” about everything.  I seriously want to jab one of my good gel pens into her eye.

She is left handed, an apparently yesterday was some left handed holiday. 

So I say “Is there a right hander’s holiday?”

She says “No, because left handers are better.”

Me “Then why is the whole world made for right handers?”

OMG…. Long pause…..”Well it shouldn’t be.”

“It is” me….. Victorious.

She was on vacation last week, and it was good (for me).  This week we are back to the brutal reality of her presence.

A lot of people have annoying habits; I could possibly have some myself, although I doubt it.  And I may be able to look over her repeated exclamations of “OH MY GOD” but she is also very judgmental, which I cannot tolerate.

She is particularly bad about judging eating habits, and she’s not a super fit diet conscious person.  Someone’s son ate 10 chicken nuggets, OMG “OH my god, 10 nuggets?” 

I wanna go all punchy on her!

There was bowl of gumballs on the table in the kitchen “Oh my god, gumballs?”  I am the last person that would want a gumball... but for fuck's sake, it's not OH MY GOD worthy!

Also, if someone gets something new and cool, she makes sure to say how she wouldn’t want whatever it is.

A few years ago when I got my first iPhone, she said “I wouldn’t want a phone that does all that; I just use my phone to make calls.”

When a coworker got a nice new car “I wouldn’t want a car with all that fancy stuff, too much to go wrong.”  She said.

Then a couple of months ago, she got an iPhone 4.  As she sat at lunch one day bragging about it, I said “I thought you only needed a cell phone to make calls on, you didn’t want a phone that would do all of that.”  She had no response.

Another day a friend at work and I were joking about Siri and the things we ask her.  OMG doesn’t have a 4s, so she doesn’t have Siri.  She says “I don’t need some woman telling me what to do” and I said “Just like you didn’t need an iPhone, right?”

She also describes, in excessive detail, all of her maladies.  The last thing I want to know is what color your snot is.  I truly do not care.  Just because I'm a nurse doesn't automatically make me interested.  I've seen people a lot sicker than you that didn't die. So suck it up and shut the hell up!

Don’t make me be mean… I don’t like myself when I act like that……

While I'm at it, there is another coworker that annoys me.......... The Baby Talker........ seriously, I am not joking.
There is grown ass woman here that insists on talking baby talk.  I do not get it AT ALL..... why would a person do that?  I don't even talk baby talk to actual babies.  However, I will talk baby talk to pets, as I don't ever expect them to speak.  Babies, should, one day speak and who wants them to talk like someone who's suffered a traumatic brain injury?

I know I'm not always work appropriate.  I say things that I probably shouldn't, "for fuck's sake" being my go-to phrase.  But baby talk?!?!  That is beyond inappropriate.  It's almost like nails down a blackboard.

I don't know......... Maybe it's just me??????