Over the weekend I got a message from a reader….
“After reading your blog for ten seconds it just screams how judgmental you are. No wonder you’re single.”
“When you are lying in bed at night asking the ceiling why you are single, just know, it isn’t us, it’s you.”
He later recanted. But what he said has really stuck with me.
Am I really my own worst enemy?
I was miserable for a lot of years with one man. I will NEVER go back to that life. In order to avoid making the same mistakes twice, I am not settling.
There are qualities, issues, personality traits, etcetera, that I know will not work in a relationship with me.
For example:
- The guy is an alcoholic; I cannot live through that again.
- The guy is a bird owner.
Funny story… I had chatted with a man from a dating site, seemed to hit it off, but he had a bird. He asked me to meet; I was hesitant, but agreed. So we met at a local park and took a walk. As we were walking and talking, he tells me the tragic story of his bird’s DEATH 2 days prior!!
Now, I didn’t wish death on the birdie, but I did think “He’s a great guy, too bad he has that damn bird.”
Turns out that the bird man and I had no chemistry, but I did feel a little guilty about his bird dying…
- The guy doesn’t have a job or won’t keep one… TrippyBeth is no sugar mama.
Do those issues make me judgmental? I suppose so.
Do those issues make me a bad person? No. No one should have to settle.
I wouldn’t expect a man to settle for me if my phobias, for example, were just too much for him to tolerate. That’s not doing anyone any favors.
So, I will continue being me, to the dismay of others… If I’m not truly myself, how will I ever find happiness? I want happiness for the real me, not some fake me.
Tattoo Talk….
I want a thistle tattoo.
They are beautiful, yet are considered a weed by most, they are prickly and detestable. Most people go to extreme efforts to rid their property of them. But they’re resilient, they keep hangin’ in.
In Scotland, the thistle is a national symbol. Being a Scotch/Irish girl I appreciate that and admire what it represents to the Scotch people as well as the English and Irish peeps.
I think I’d like in on my left arm to begin to fill out the half sleeve. So many tattoos I want, so little time……
