Got A Brand New Bag

I'll be wearin' nothin but a tattoo and a smile.

Hey friends!

Have you missed me?

I've been puny, AGAIN. I ended up in the ER yesterday. I have pleurisy! Let me tell you, it hurts like a motherfucker! But, I must return to the office tomorrow. I like to use my time for fun, not lying sick in bed!

I had a photography class scheduled for tonight, but the instructor was kind enough to let me reschedule. I was going to drag my carcass in there if I HAD to, but I am thankful that I didn't have to.

The biggest and really ONLY news that I have to report to you is that I am now................

Hold on..........

Wait for it............

................................................................................................................................................

AN ORDAINED MINISTER!!!!!

Yep, dig it people!

Getting married? I'm your girl!!

Dead? Give me a call!

I already have one person interested in having me perform a wedding!

I think that I could be really good at this, this could be my calling!

I can't wait until I receive my badge!!!

I have a Facebook friend, that I don't even know how I became friends with him, but here's his deal... He apparently has a teeny tiny pee-pee.

Not that I know, from actually seeing it in person, thank jeebus, but he's told me. It's like he's weirdly obsessed with talking about having a tiny pee-pee. Which in itself is totally bizarre.

But yesterday, it gets dialed up to an entirely new level.

He messages me on Facebook and asks if I know how to remove a post from his wall.

So, being the sweet and helpful girl that I am, I tell him. Without asking any questions, NO QUESTIONS.

Then he, voluntarily, tells me that someone had posted something very embarrassing to his wall.

I don't go look.

But he goes on to tell me that he can't remove the photo, that it's extremely embarrassing and he's freaking.

So, at this point, I feel oblidged to go look.

FUCK, after looking I am extremely disappointed in myself for not DE-friending him a long time ago.

The photo posted to his wall is of a teeny, almost non-existent pee-pee, with a ruler by it. I have no idea what the point of the ruler was, not for bragging rights I can assure you. It was posted by a woman who made a comment about if he was going to cheat, he shouldn't leave her photos etc... OUCH!

I report the photo to Facebook, and try to move on with my life.

Well, he has other ideas, and keeps asking me how the photo looks!! I tell him that I don't feel comfortable discussing it and I can't give him any advice, other than DENY, DENY, DENY!

People be crazy, yo...