“Wow your hair looks really good today”
I have hat hair and get compliments, that doesn’t say much for my hair on the days that I do not wear a hat. I love hats, maybe I should wear one every day! But some days, I just don’t want to commit my hair to it. That was before I knew that it actually improved my hair…
Last night turned out to be a partial cluster fuck.
The wind here in the Ohtucky was brutal, knocking out power in places and with it, traffic lights.
But, I’m thinking that I don’t even have to get on the interstate, so it’ll be all good.
Wrong.
The street that leads to the Outback was seriously backed up because the traffic lights were out.
Fuck.
So, being clever, I jumped on the interstate and went down to the next exit to circle my way back. Now I had no clue where I was going, but with the help of the iPhone GPS I finally found the way to Outback.
So, we get there; pull in to the parking lot.
NO POWER.
Fuck.
So I have to turn around, wind my way back around to the Texas Roadhouse, which is like 2 miles from my house.
We had a good time anyway and I got some of my favorite perfume as a gift!
Before we went on the dinner trek, I stopped at the Kroger to get gas. It was C R A Z Y at the gas station, I had to wait in line and the wind was ROCKING the car.
I finally get up to the pump, swipe my card and it says "see cashier". Goddammit.
I go to the cashier. She just stares at me. I say "the pump says I needed to see you".
She stares a little longer.
Before we went on the dinner trek, I stopped at the Kroger to get gas. It was C R A Z Y at the gas station, I had to wait in line and the wind was ROCKING the car.
I finally get up to the pump, swipe my card and it says "see cashier". Goddammit.
I go to the cashier. She just stares at me. I say "the pump says I needed to see you".
She stares a little longer.
"Your card was declined"
What the actual fuck?
"That's not possible" I reply, with windblown attitude.
"Well you can try it again"....long pause...."Or I could try it here."
"Let's just try it here" i reply as a Kroger bag flies past my face.
She runs it and SURPRISE, SURPRISE it fucking worked.
So, I go back and pump my gas. I made another observation while I was standing there pumping. I think I hate people that put reindeer antlers on their cars. They have to be assholes. I saw one that had reindeer antlers AND an elf hat on their grill. I couldn't even make eye contact with that woman, I instantly despised her.
Look what I found on my desk.
What the actual fuck?
"That's not possible" I reply, with windblown attitude.
"Well you can try it again"....long pause...."Or I could try it here."
"Let's just try it here" i reply as a Kroger bag flies past my face.
She runs it and SURPRISE, SURPRISE it fucking worked.
So, I go back and pump my gas. I made another observation while I was standing there pumping. I think I hate people that put reindeer antlers on their cars. They have to be assholes. I saw one that had reindeer antlers AND an elf hat on their grill. I couldn't even make eye contact with that woman, I instantly despised her.
Look what I found on my desk.
It’s a petrified banana. Cool, right?
And my boss walked up as I was taking that photo for you, she looked horrified (evil smile).
I broke down and brought a cake in to the office today. I know, I know, Ms.Grinch wavered a little bit. I made damn sure that everyone knew that I brought it in. No more “wow I’ve been here 3 years and never saw you bring anything in” comments, bitches!
Today, my cube-mate has the radio on a station that is playing “last requests” as homage to the whole end of the world bullshit Mayan prediction crap.
Let me say this, if I requested some of the shitty songs that these people are requesting, it would be the end of the world for me, I would totally take myself out. I can’t even explain to you how awful the musical selections are, even the DJ is like “are you sure this is what you want to hear?” I’m pretty sure he is wishing the world would have ended before his shift so he wouldn’t have to listen to this or be responsible for playing it. Poor guy, I bet he’s contemplating taking himself out too.
So… earbuds IN…
Alabama Shakes, my friends, dig it.
TB, did that banana just appear on your desk one day (i.e. someone put it there as a weird kind of warning) or have you been slowing watching it petrify over the years? Either way, still a cool thing to have. If you’ll eat it, I’ll give you a dollar. (Just kidding, I don’t want you to end up in the hospital!) ;)
ReplyDeleteHaha!
ReplyDeleteVigilarius, the banana was mine, it got buried under some work i obviously didn't want to do.
it wasn't like a horse head showing up in my bed :-)
I'm not a dude, so eating it never crossed my mind!
Judging from the way you describe some of your coworkers, I wouldn’t put it past them to torment you with fossilized fruit. By the way, I think I speak for everyone who reads your blog when I say that I'm glad you're not a dude. ;)
ReplyDeleteHhhhmmmm maybe it WASN'T my banana!!
ReplyDeleteHaha I'm glad I'm not a dude too... so much I wouldn't know what to do with...